Cheers tony, and welcome to Bike Forums.
I'm not sure you can find a one size fits all solution for longer rides... bike rental companies around here offer usually single speed / 3 speed internally geared step-through frames as an all purpose rental bike. They're widely used in Europe for utility riding, so everybody thinks they look quite happy, or "gay" as you put it. They're OK for city riding, and I've done trips in the 40-50km range on one. Anything longer, and I'd rather ride something that fits, has more gearing range, less upright riding position, smoother tyres etc. The rental shops usually have a limited selection of 7/8 speed hybrid bikes too.
--J