I've kind of given up the tandem idea for a while. My husband is working on the rocking, but it is still there. I won't get on the back with that rocking.
Also, I really enjoy RIDING my bike, with all that that entails, watching the road for potholes, strategizing, picking a line, etc. I love being aware of my surroundings and being one with the bike. I enjoy pushing myself and really prefer pushing and backing off at my own discretion.
And as one person commented, I don't like relinquishing control (no offense taken!). I don't think being the captain will work either, because although my husband is saying he would be fine as the stoker, he also doesn't like giving up control, although to a lesser extent and in a different way than me.
There are activities that I don't feel passionate about and am glad to follow someone else's lead, but cycling isn't one of them.
Rowena