JuneBride,
With the differing abilities of you and your husband, I think you definitely have to be in front. Weight is a small factor, but experience is a much more important one, and putting an ineperienced rider at the front is asking for trouble. I would suggest you read Santana's tips which are posted
here.
After that:
1. Practice riding your tandem by yourself. If possible, put two heavy rear panniers as an "immobile husband".
2. If at all possible, you might "load" your husband to an experienced tandem rider that will train him to behave properly.
3. Ride with him. Take it slowly at first, so you build up your arm strength and train your husband. After a wile, you will succeed on the first or on both aspects and will be able to ride for long.