I hear you. I have trouble keeping with my program, too. I know I improve much faster when I do stick to it and I have fun doing it, but it's hard to be like that and have a life, too. That's the program I used to be a geezer with an average (or worse) VO2max and still ride with the fast boys. I just worked harder than everyone except the real LD racer boys.
What you're describing is exactly where Nancy and I were three years ago, except that her endurance was worse than yours is now. But stoking for some reason allows her to put out more watts for longer than she can on her single. We're not sure why that is. Her endurance is pretty good now. My guess is that I have enough power to smooth out the effort and take the peaks out of it for her, so she can apply her own effort more evenly. We both wear coded HRMs and keep our numbers about the same. It is pretty cool to ride a bike that can put out the watts of a Lance Armstrong, which doesn't mean we climb fast, duh, but it can be quite a sensation in the right terrain.
Other than those suggestions - take pieces and apply as it suits you - it sounds like you are doing great, even though it doesn't seem that way to you. It's going to take time.
It's hard to sort out what was more important and what less of the various exercises. I think I was at my most shocking when I was pretty religious about the 3 sets of 30. OLP helped my climbing more than any other exercise. But the weekend ride was by far the most important thing I did. I don't think midweek intervals ever did much for me. I was already at my training max, so they just robbed Peter to pay Paul.
Post your HRM data when you get some. Good luck and good riding to you.