My wife's experience is similar. A lot of the races are 1-4, and she hates that.
What I hate more is that W3-4 is a SCNCA Cup category, which actively encourages race directors to put Women's 3 & 4 together where they may not need to. W1-2-3 is also a SCNCA Cup category, so the 3s get to pick which race to do or do both if possible.
I generally only race if we're already going to a flat-ish race in NorCal, where I can do a W4 race. I don't mind the Dinuba W1-4 crit because it's a small group and they don't pull riders. You just try to find somebody to work with until the suffering ends, and try not to get a contact high from passing a house with pot smokers.