I'm also one of the lucky ones. The photo show us tandeming on our wedding day. It was followed by a two week tandem trip including attending a tandem rally. This was 30 years ago. My wife is very independent (perhaps a little bossy) but she trusts me on the bike. I don't surprise her on the bike, no abrupt changes of directions, speeding through red lights, announce bumps and try to keep the pedaling cadence compatible for both of us. We have fun on the bike together.
As has been mentioned, some riding with an other experienced tandemer may help. Santana has a good methodology for this.
Michael