Hey Clifton, sorry to hear that you're down for the count. I don't have a good recovery story so here's an inappropriate joke.
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams, "Did you see what your monkey just did? He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!". "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the guy. "He eats everything in sight. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now? He stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"