Talk you out of it?!?!?! Are you serious? This (your last line):"A Full Offroad Tandem with two unfit riders on it would give a nice easy target for everyone else to aim at." is quite a gift you're giving others. I never try to talk someone out of being generous. We expect a full report.
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A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. - S. Wright
Favorite rides in the stable: Indy Fab CJ Ti - Colnago MXL - S-Works Roubaix - Habanero Team Issue - Jamis Eclipse carbon/831