Originally Posted by
sci_femme
I was really struggling with myself as to whether to chime in early and conserve valuable broadband resource or stay amused for a bit longer by discussion that is absolutely destined to run in circles. OK, here we go again, Mars-Venus moment.
Every single one of you has offered a SOLUTION. OK, so noted. When will Y-chromosomed folks understand that we are intelligent enough to see the solutions ourselves and offering another one comes across as patronizing?
What she needs is to VALIDATE her feelings, something along the lines "Honey, I would be worried too". And at least try to sound sincere. She puts up with aforementioned patronizing, she's gotta love you, that's why she is worried. While in the process of acknowledging her fears, try to abstain from offering reasons why it is safe. How to find the right words - well, it is time to exercise that muscle between your ears. Only chefisaac stumbled upon partial understanding how it is done.
Of course, there always is that strong silent way of doing things - heading into the traffic without saying a word and asking forgiveness is optional. Is anybody willing to venture a guess how many booty points this approach is doing to get?
chefisaac - C-
the rest - F
Class dismissed
SF
Been married 35 years. You've almost got it right. Offering solutions to appease is fruitless. Neither is giving up what you want. Validating irrational thought is not helpful. Sometimes being supportive means suggesting, in a loving and caring manner, that negative and irrational fears be channeled in a more productive manner. As you point out, they're capable of intelligent solutions for themselves.
Frankly, some of the solutions being offered would be more appropriate for a child.