I check tire pressures hourly, at 5 minutes past the hour. Every Friday evening at 6:08pm I replace the chain, then Pedro it and lube it twice daily until the following Friday. Headset and Bottom Bracket are removed and serviced/replaced on Wednesdays. I wash and wax the frame Tuesday evening after the Results show on "Dancing With the Stars". The first Sunday of each month I sand the frame and repaint. I own a $45,000 electron microscope with which I look for small cracks in the handlebars and frame. This is accomplished at 2:46am Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. I soak my Brooks in 30-Weight Motor Oil every Monday morning. The fourth Saturday of each month I rebuild my wheels.
Funny, I never seem to have time to ride.
Actually, I wipe/dry lube the chain every Saturday, check tire pressures every other day, and occasionally tweak a brake or derailler adjustment. Weekly maintenance on the bike is about 20 (?) minutes.