sarals 

Shovel, another thing I do - I make excuses - "I can't because", and I like to play the "age" card. That is valid TO A POINT. Basically, what I do (and Valygrl has hit on this) is squander my resources and miss opportunities by NOT being aggressive enough - still! I'm scratching around trying to decide what works, and what doesn't, and I'm not believing in myself. My girlfriend, a strong, gifted rider who is right on the verge on winning races, told me this morning that "You're fast as s**t on the flats, you descend like a mad woman, and you can sprint. You should use those strengths to work for you, and then you won't worry so much about the hills". In other words, what you said - use your head, Sara. I told Ex this morning that racing is a very fluid, very dynamic enterprise, and I have to be equipped to do it properly, and I'm pretty much a blank slate right now. I look at at what your team just did, and how well you worked together, keeping your respective jobs in focus, and adjusting from race to race and WITHIN the race. Me, I get wound up, worry about the small stuff, and loose the big picture. Positives? Oh, there's lots of them. I finish - that's big. Most of the time I have fun. I'm certainly fit, now! Sometimes I do things right, and sometimes I anticipate things correctly. I need to multiply all that, and get a grasp of the whole event - from the night before, to breakfast, to the drive to the race, to the warmup, to the start. One day, soon, I will.