Ha! Good one. Reminds me of when I was about 13 years old and some guy jumped on my 10-speed (leaning next to a window outside the room I was in at school) and took off.
The dolt was riding on grass toward woods. I was (and still am) an impressive sprinter, and was rapidly catching up to him (on foot) when he turned to see me. He dismounted, laid the bike down, and ran like mad.
I made some threatening comments, used harsh language, etc., picked up my bike, and went back to what I was doing, but threw the cable lock on it for good measure.