I was really discouraged after that mess I made of my FTP test a couple of days ago. I was on the brink of just turning my back on the whole thing. Even though I know that I'm in a "valley", and I know (this is all intellectual) that I'll come back to where I was on my best form last season, or even better, I still can't shake the notion that the spark and punch are gone. What didn't help was getting an email yesterday from one of the two ladies I was so looking forward to riding with on C&W this year telling me that she had quit the team. Talk about being kicked when you're down. Oh, I totally understand her reasons and motivation, and anything that I say that points to "me" is selfish - but still, I left MBRT to ride with a team that had women in my age group.
Today, well, Ex sent me a nice note yesterday - just a few words - that really, really shook me awake. I so appreciated getting that, and today I appreciate it even more.
Now, if my old lady body would just wake up.
And if I'd just quit getting so nervous when something says "TEST" or "RACE" on it.
And, if I could just figure out how to output an even, high power, effort, and sustain it. I'm a "burst" rider - go, rest, go again. That does not a TT rider or climber make.
I've just a few things to work on, huh?
__________________
"Can you add a signature line please? The lack of words makes me think you are being held hostage and being told to be quiet"