Just so you guys know you've got some worthy competition: I think my recent dumpster-sourced MTB is dead center in the spirit of this contest. It's my intention to turn this into a serviceable drop bar tourer.
For your consideration, a 1990 Redline Thirty (no, I've never heard of such a thing either)
(pls note the abstract masterpiece of rusted-in-time chainline. How does this even happen?)
Let's take a quick look inside the bottom bracket, just to make sure everything is in order there, shall we? Very good. I'd say this is up to standard.
Freewheel frozen stationary on the hub? Check.
Derailleur snaps into two pieces when removal is attempted? Check.
Possible areas to consider upgrading: freewheel, rear derailleur. Maybe the chain, too.
Once removed, the crankset feels a bit heavy compared to my better triples I have waiting in my parts bins. But underneath that silver-colored umm.... paint? powdercoat? ...is a functional crank that can be re-used.
Green (?) anodized rims? Was this a thing, back in 1990? Anyway, the front rim is true enough to reuse. We'll see about the back rim, if we can get the rusty axle free enough to spin.
Significant growths of moss are to be expected in my damp corner of the USA. Otherwise, one would suspect this bike has been coddled, safely tucked away in a woodshed, carport or hen house all these years
I've started cleaning it up tonight. Cash outlay so far: $0.00