Good that both of you are capable riders. Huge advantage.
Pompiere covered it including you will need to compromise on the cadence. If captain, suggest to compromise on everything!
If the tandem is just a beach / towner cruiser, go ahead and laugh along without serious thought of cycling. But if on a higher-end road or ATB type tandem, its a test of patience and relationship. Teach the stoker to not get 'shifty' in the saddle. Emphasize smoothness. Get in sync and the tandem is a blast.
Had our 9 y.o. g-daughter as a rookie stoker this last 4th July holiday plus we pulled a trailer with 3 y.o.. She listened and followed through perfectly. Funny though a few times I zipped up on the speed and was thinking 'wow, we're going great'! I glanced back and she had her feet up on the bars. LOL.