You need to put about a liter of kerosene into the nearest carpet or fabric surface, maybe a chair or a couch. After this put two more liters of kerosene onto the same upholstery.
Then, go to the kitchen and prepare a large pot of potato and pea curry with a lot of cumin, coriander, fenugreek, and cloves.
Close all the windows.
Turn on two humidifiers. Four is better.
Turn the house heat on high.
See what your wife says when she comes home.