Not to downplay the seriousness of real fears, but life is 100% fatal -- no one gets out alive.
Seriously, outashape, I'm sorry that you were personally affected so terribly. I know that when you're touched personally by horrors such as these, it's almost impossible to believe in the heart that such events are rare. But they are rare. Correct me if I'm wrong, anyone, but I believe there are something like 400 cycling fatalities each year in the US? Not that 400 lives lost isn't an awful thing, but in comparison to the 40,000 who die in their cars....
Maybe you're right: maybe there is no such thing as truly safe cycling. Certainly some ways are safer than others, and just as certainly some events will always be beyond our control. I will keep doing the things I love, as safely as possible, and advocate to make them safer. Otherwise, I don't think I could call it "living"; it would just be passing time until dying.