Mkay......
Being an 'old guy' (49) my first cycling experiences were in the neighborhood of my youth. I had a 3 speed Columbia (Raleigh knockoff house brand) as my first real bike. In my neighborhood back then, kids rode bikes all the time, in the street, on sidewalks - any place they would go. I can't recall my parents (or any other authority figure) every telling me to stay out of the street and on the sidewalk. Like everybody else I gave up riding when I got my drivers license. When I re-entered the bike world at age 28, I had several years of motorcycling under my belt, so I brought with me the knowledge of the differences between single track vehicle steering and double track (car) steering characteristics (knew how to counter-steer and brake). I also realized the relative vulnerability of transit 'out side of the cage'.
All I can say (and I can envision some BF'rs cringing) is it takes a certain 'attitude' to ride in traffic - heavy or light, country or city. Lane position and body language impart the cyclist's attitude to other vehicle operators. Riding in the gutter = submissive. Riding out in the lane (does not necessarily mean taking the entire lane) = assertive. Does that mean every driver will not buzz or close-pass you? Nope, but if you ride assertively, it will cut way down on the close pass. As I have stated in previous posts, since becoming a BF regular, I have begun using a mirror and taken an even more pro-active and assertive riding style - blocking on narrow roads and using hand signals. It works for me.
With regard to the roads I ride, I find in many instances, metro-area (city and inner suburbs) 4 lane arterial roads are quite easy to ride. The speed limits are low (40 or less) and motorists are much more used to encounter a cyclist than in the exurbs or country. There are virtually no bike lanes where I ride and I rarely have a problem with urban cycling. It's more the rednecks and long-commuting (during the week day) motorists out in the country who pose a hazard.
So, I would say the roads here suite my VC style: assertive and traffic director when necessary. In thousands of miles of riding, I have never had an accident with a motor vehicle. And the traffic is only getting worse.