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  1. #1
    human velocipedio's Avatar
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    Lance Armstrong is God

    No other racer can even compare. They shouldn't even bother turning up at races, exceopt to be crushed, humiliated and put in their rightful place by the greatest cyclist who has ever lived. Not only is Lance so far above all those Euros in terms of physical strength and athletic ability, he is better in every possible way, intellectually, morally and creatively. He holds multiple Ph.D.'s in advanced physics, economic, history and literature, has written dozens of books -- indeed, has ghostwritten every bestseller in the last ten years -- and once saved a schoolbus full of children when it almost went over the edge of a mountain highway. Lance loves his mother, gives generously to the poor, and is always there with a smile. He fears no one but God and has a healing touch. He can dance, sing and juggle. Above all, he is American. Those who have the temerity to oppose this great and wonderful human being are less than scum. They should simply admit the fact and admit the righteous dominatio of the American champion.

    Now back to your regularly-scheduled forums.
    when walking, just walk. when sitting, just sit. when riding, just ride. above all, don't wobble.

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  2. #2
    bac
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    Originally posted by velocipedio
    No other racer can even compare. They shouldn't even bother turning up at races, exceopt to be crushed, humiliated and put in their rightful place by the greatest cyclist who has ever lived. Not only is Lance so far above all those Euros in terms of physical strength and athletic ability, he is better in every possible way, intellectually, morally and creatively. He holds multiple Ph.D.'s in advanced physics, economic, history and literature, has written dozens of books -- indeed, has ghostwritten every bestseller in the last ten years -- and once saved a schoolbus full of children when it almost went over the edge of a mountain highway. Lance loves his mother, gives generously to the poor, and is always there with a smile. He fears no one but God and has a healing touch. He can dance, sing and juggle. Above all, he is American. Those who have the temerity to oppose this great and wonderful human being are less than scum. They should simply admit the fact and admit the righteous dominatio of the American champion.

    Now back to your regularly-scheduled forums.

    Yeah, but he never made it into space! Oh, you mean Lance Armstrong. Okay, you're right on that one.

  3. #3
    The clock's run out kewlrunningz's Avatar
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    You couldn't be more right.
    Hello moto

  4. #4
    serial mender
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    You forgot to point out that he is even smarter than George Bush.

  5. #5
    Upgrade your Turbo Ritalin's Avatar
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    Originally posted by jmlee
    You forgot to point out that he is even smarter than George Bush.

    That goes without saying...
    Who isn't?

  6. #6
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    I don't understand people getting pissed at the 'Lance vs the World' thing... because... well... any pro cyclist in the world could try... and they will fail, as they have every time so far.

    Originally posted by Ritalin



    That goes without saying...
    Who isn't?
    Ronald Reagan
    Last edited by brent_dube; 11-02-02 at 04:08 PM.

  7. #7
    Burn-em Upus Icephaltus Gojohnnygo.'s Avatar
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    The riders who don't like lance.Must not be real bikers.He is a person who can help us all, And I mean ALL OF US. Better roads,bike lanes and more tracks for us to ride.
    Sick BubbleGum

  8. #8
    Sprockette wabbit's Avatar
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    Lance's SHOES are smarter than George Bush!
    You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's great...if you want to attract vermin.

  9. #9
    The clock's run out kewlrunningz's Avatar
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    At a $250 they BETTER be!
    Hello moto

  10. #10
    Forum Admin lotek's Avatar
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    Uhm Velocipedio,
    having a particularly bad day?
    I appreciate the fact that you are not a LA fan
    (minor understatement) but whats up with that?
    Did I miss something? (again).

    Marty
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    Odio la gente, tutti.

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  11. #11
    human velocipedio's Avatar
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    Originally posted by lotek
    Uhm Velocipedio,
    having a particularly bad day?
    I appreciate the fact that you are not a LA fan
    (minor understatement) but whats up with that?
    Did I miss something?
    Nahhh... It's just the Lance-o-philia gets a little thick sometimes. I thought I'd play the satire card with a little reductio ad absurdem. It actually came to me on a ride with my homies, when we were talking about the Lance-a-riffic coverage in Velonews.

    To be honest, I have great admiration for the man. he's an amazing athlete... It just gets to be a bit much when he starts going on about how he's gonna win six though he hasn't won five [as if he owns it]... And when his more rabid fans go on about how no one can beat him... ever. [It's just that no one has beat him in a specific race for the last four years, which is not the same thing.]

    So... I just thought I'd let off some steam.

    But... you know he X-ray vision, don't you?
    when walking, just walk. when sitting, just sit. when riding, just ride. above all, don't wobble.

    The Irregular Cycling Club of Montreal
    Cycling irregularly since 2002

  12. #12
    Forum Admin lotek's Avatar
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    I don't know about the x-ray vision
    but I do know there is a strange phenomenon
    where people actually belive he can cure them of, well
    whatever they present with. Mostly its cancer and
    its really sad that people put all of their faith/hope etc. on
    him. Very much like Lourdes etc. very weird.
    But back to topic, even as an LA fan I know
    he is 1)Not invincible 2) not assured of Six (funny he usually
    downplays this ) 3) not a Healer 4) Not The best Rider EVER
    (I'd bet Merckx see pole somewhere here!)
    I think the whole Lance worship thing is being played
    out by alot of New followers of Pro Cycling, and
    Hyped by the likes of VeloNews and Bicycling because
    its good for Sales. Likewise Trek, Oakley, and Nike.

    Marty
    Sono pił lento di quel che sembra.
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  13. #13
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    Velo I think you take it too literal when Armstrong says he is going for six. You should know how is attitude is. He is gonna say that to add to his own determination, as if it is something he HAS to do, you know what I mean?

    Maybe you gotta read his book to understand him.

  14. #14
    Huachuca Rider webist's Avatar
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    Lance is inspiring. I am pleased that he is an American. His story is truly a good read. I really appreciate the fact that he is apaprently a clean athlete, family man and community activist. Through his achievements, his community has grown to encompass the whole world in some ways. I appreciate true stories of human struggle, especially those based on singular personal acievement.

    The attention he brings to cycling is, I believe, most important to those of us who hope to see cyclists increase in number and bicycling facilities improve. I expect the attention his story brings to the human battle against cancer will have more significant and lasting effect on people and humanity than any achievement on a bicycle in France. It is those very cycling achievements though which magnifies the effect he has on the battle against disease.

    In the short run and on a personal level though, my work to improve on a bicycle actually has more to do with me than LA.
    Just Peddlin' Around

  15. #15
    Sprockette wabbit's Avatar
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    Relax, yall, I think Velocipedio isn't entirely serious, he's just poking a bit of fun at the lance-o-philes. Sometimes it's a bit much for me too, "Oh, you shouldn't SAAAAAY things like that about... Lance Armstrong!" Why the hell not?

    I agree about the six tours. I think Lance can be arrogant and all but I also think he's saying that as a psych-out for the competition so everyone will think he's invincible. Lotek is right, of course, no one is invincible. And everyone wants to break the big records- Dimaggio Hitting streak, hank aarons home runs, Binda's stage record, whatever. It's what sports is all about.
    You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's great...if you want to attract vermin.

  16. #16
    Just ride. roadbuzz's Avatar
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    Lance-o-philia?

    Lance-a-riffic!?


    You, sir, are lance-a-phobic!

  17. #17
    Upgrade your Turbo Ritalin's Avatar
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    Originally posted by roadbuzz
    Lance-o-philia?

    Lance-a-riffic!?


    You, sir, are lance-a-phobic!
    That's Lantastic!

  18. #18
    0^0 fubar5's Avatar
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    I would have to say his sponsors and CTS contribute the majority of Lance hype, just like with MJ, and Tiger Woods.
    Booyah!!

  19. #19
    suitcase of courage VegasCyclist's Avatar
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    Originally posted by velocipedio
    No other racer can even compare. They shouldn't even bother turning up at races, exceopt to be crushed, humiliated and put in their rightful place by the greatest cyclist who has ever lived. Not only is Lance so far above all those Euros in terms of physical strength and athletic ability, he is better in every possible way, intellectually, morally and creatively. He holds multiple Ph.D.'s in advanced physics, economic, history and literature, has written dozens of books -- indeed, has ghostwritten every bestseller in the last ten years -- and once saved a schoolbus full of children when it almost went over the edge of a mountain highway. Lance loves his mother, gives generously to the poor, and is always there with a smile. He fears no one but God and has a healing touch. He can dance, sing and juggle. Above all, he is American. Those who have the temerity to oppose this great and wonderful human being are less than scum. They should simply admit the fact and admit the righteous dominatio of the American champion.
    velo you forgot the part where he made the world spin backwards to reverse time and save the woman in the car from dying... oh wait that was another superhuman
    -VegasCyclist
    "Daddy made whiskey and he made it well.... cost two dollars and it burned like hell...."
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  20. #20
    Just ride. roadbuzz's Avatar
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    Originally posted by VegasCyclist
    oh wait that was another superhuman
    A new superhero?

    Look! Up on L'Alpe! It's a bird... It's a plane... etc. etc.

    A member of the Planorian race, catapulted to Earth from planet Tek-sas when an over-inflated tire exploded.

    First problem: How to keep cape out of chain/gears.

    One weakness: "Bonking.... hard..... gasp. Must.... be... green... Gu."

    Perennial foes:
    1) Giro d'Italia <=> bizarro world.
    2) Marco Pantani <=> Mr. Mxlpltk... or whatever his name was. To make him go away, make him say his name backwards.
    3) Jalabert <=> Lex Luthor... occasionally escapes from Phantom Zone and must be returned to proper place.

    "Somebody tell him... underwear under the uniform."
    "That big 'S,' He must ride Shimano..."

  21. #21
    Ride Nekkid! A.troll's Avatar
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    Lance Armstrong is my boyfriend!!!
    So many men....so little time!

  22. #22
    Upgrade your Turbo Ritalin's Avatar
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    Originally posted by A.troll
    Lance Armstrong is my boyfriend!!!
    When are you going to introduce us?

  23. #23
    Ride Nekkid! A.troll's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Ritalin


    When are you going to introduce us?
    I don't think I can do that. It would be awkward to have two of my boyfriends meet.
    So many men....so little time!

  24. #24
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    Those that choose their hero's or role models like LA have choosen well. LA has accomplished a great deal on the humanitarian front, far surpassing his athletic endevors, and he's reiterated that over and over. Most adults in general, and especially parents feel very little responsibility when it comes to roll modeling or leadership. Our society so badly needs more quality adults willing to step up to the plate and live by example. LA, lives by example to his family, yet his accomplishments have opened doors for all to see. He's not perfect by anymeans.

    Those that knock others for their roll model choices should take stock. Look closely at your own choices that have you finding enjoyment in knocking others. Those that are smart enough to find guidence from the likes of LA, will better themselves in time.

    LA has been touched

  25. #25
    Member LngDistance's Avatar
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    Originally posted by lotek
    I don't know about the x-ray vision
    but I do know there is a strange phenomenon
    where people actually belive he can cure them of, well
    whatever they present with. Mostly its cancer and
    its really sad that people put all of their faith/hope etc. on
    him.
    Why is it sad? To a cancer patient hope may be all that they have. In a world of amazing technology they are still forced to suffer in silence knowing their time is soon. Hope comforts, and in some cases even prolongs life. This summer riding across the country to raise money for cancer, one of the people in our group mentioned that the $50,000 we raised would probably go to fix a machine in a lab that a grad student just broke. You know what, he was probably right, but the greatest impact that our cause had was to give people hope. Going into a hospice full of terminal cancer patients was both one of the hardest and most rewarding things that I have ever done. Hardest because you knew that most of the people in the building would be dead within the next month, and the most rewarding because you could see the hope and joy and their eys, and my own hope that the boost may make their last days more comfortable. Lance does the same thing for an entire nation of cancer patients. They can look to him and glean hope, and when hope is all that you have left that can't be a bad thing.
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single pedal.

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