Attention swissys, sissies, and, missies! The Battenkill-Roubaix is coming in T minus 10 days. Whom among us will be engaging in this rollicking race of rolling fisticuffs?
Me? Oh yeah, I'll be there. The cat3 field will be crushed between my masticating thighs of doom and gloom. The others shall be poisoned by the smell of burning lycra as my quads grind back and forth upon each other.
Fact: The Cat3 pace car is a Lotus Elise, as its one of the few cars that can keep up with me when I crest hills.
Fact: all the dirt roads we'll be riding on were actually paved until I casually thundered over them and pulverized the asphault.
Fact: DrWJODonnell wont be showing up because he heard my thighs were gonna be there. YOU CANT AVOID ME FOREVER!