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Thread: All Hail Vino!

  1. #1
    Senior Member Snicklefritz's Avatar
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    All Hail Vino!

    I just got home from work and am bored so I decided to make up a thread.

    My big question: Vino is there any race in Northern Cal that you haven't done??

  2. #2
    Banned. El Diablo Rojo's Avatar
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    Vinokurtov is really more the Jens Voigt of BF. He is my amature bike racing hero.

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    Giving you the business. Cypress's Avatar
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    I've got to know, how does The Vino afford racing every weekend, new zooty stuff, and the ability to eat?
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    You have received an infraction at Bike Forums.

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    Race to train jrennie's Avatar
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    Same reason he continues to ride fater and faster, he's smarter than the average bear. (mmm picanic baskets)

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    Giving you the business. Cypress's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jrennie
    Same reason he continues to ride fater and faster, he's smarter than the average bear. (mmm picanic baskets)

    How smart is your average bear?
    Quote Originally Posted by Moderator
    Dear Cypress,

    You have received an infraction at Bike Forums.

  6. #6
    RacingBear UmneyDurak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cypress
    I've got to know, how does The Vino afford racing every weekend, new zooty stuff, and the ability to eat?
    He robbed Bill Gates!
    I see hills.... Bring them on!!!
    Stay calm and bring a towel.

  7. #7
    Race to train jrennie's Avatar
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    Living in that snowy wilderness it should be easy to find out, take a steak and tie it to you leg and find yourself a bear. If he is stupid enough to take on The Jugernaut then not very smart.

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    Banned. El Diablo Rojo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cypress
    I've got to know, how does The Vino afford racing every weekend, new zooty stuff, and the ability to eat?
    Paris Hilton gave him a couple of million bucks not to sell their sex tape.

  9. #9
    Peloton Dog patentcad's Avatar
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    I have this recurring dream where I meet Vino at the BF BBQ.

    Then he attacks me and my family.

  10. #10
    Slow'n'Aero DrWJODonnell's Avatar
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    I have only a few cycling heros: Voight, Vinokurov, Basso, and... VINO!!

    I just wouldn't want to be going upstairs with him around, as I am sure he would attack me on the climb.

  11. #11
    Peloton Dog patentcad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patentcad
    I have this recurring dream where I meet Vino at the BF BBQ.

    Then he attacks me and my family.
    In the inevitable follow up dream (after I've gotten up in a cold sweat and gone to the bathroom) KP and Dr. W.J. are on the side as Vino hacks me and the family to death with a D. A. crankset. They are of course, all laughing insanely. The real chilling part is when I look @ the D.A. crank that Vino has imbedded in my skull and to my ultimate horror it is now CAMPY.

  12. #12
    Now Racer Ex Vinokurtov's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patentcad
    In the inevitable follow up dream (after I've gotten up in a cold sweat and gone to the bathroom) KP and Dr. W.J. are on the side as Vino hacks me and the family to death with a D. A. crankset. They are of course, all laughing insanely. The real chilling part is when I look @ the D.A. crank that Vino has imbedded in my skull and to my ultimate horror it is now CAMPY.
    I wouldn't waste a Campy crankset on you. Not even Veloce. At best you'd get 105, or if I was feeling particularly generous, Ultegra.

    I think it would take the full on bling SRM Dura Ace to kill Doc, and something in a Stronglight Activ-Ti to at least render Pizzaman unconscious. At which point Snick and I will go off on a Bonnie/Clyde-like crime spree, only to be stopped when Rad realizes we're after his Pinarello, hires Cypress as a bodygaurd, and he crushes our souls, leaving us to float in limbo (not to be confused with Zimbo) till the end of time.

    I'll be tormented with a 10lb climbing bike that will be ridden around me by a 380 lb Mickey D customer (who'll drip ketchup on the downtube) and Snick shall be forced to ride in a never ending criterium.

    And EDR is correct in that I got a nice check from Paris to keep the DVD off the market, sadly I turned around and endorsed it over to Anna Nicole Smith to NOT have sex with me. Long story.

    (And anyone who produced a child with ANS ought to be immediately precluded from custody of the aforementioned child, unprotected sex with ANS a clear indication of drug use, or, more likely, insanity).

    And in answer to Snick's original question, I believe there was an obscure unsanctioned Thursday night crit in Modoc county last year that was organized by the local VFW post. I flatted during the warm up and wasn't able to race.
    "I may not be as strong as I think I am, but I know many tricks, and I have resolution" - Santiago

  13. #13
    Giving you the business. Cypress's Avatar
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    Zomg LOL
    Quote Originally Posted by Moderator
    Dear Cypress,

    You have received an infraction at Bike Forums.

  14. #14
    Killing Rabbits
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    This is what makes Vino great, not only is he an awe inspiring cyclist, he is also a great writer. I love reading his posts.

    Oh, and “Can someone explain to me the value of base mileage?” Mr. Endless Zone 2 can show you, his ass, when he rides away from you.

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