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  1. #1
    Peloton Dog patentcad's Avatar
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    It's a Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred World

    They outnumber you racer weenies about 100:1. And there's nothing you can do about it. Somewhere, at any given moment, some Fred is keeling over at an intersection, unable to free himself from the bonds of his clipless pedals.

    Read it and weep, but better yet, ignore it, for the full realization of this reality is rather staggering in its humanity.



    Sometimes, late at night, I lie awake wondering what it would be like to watch the world recede in a helmet mirror. But I will never really know.
    Last edited by patentcad; 08-24-07 at 03:58 AM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member roadwarrior's Avatar
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    Are you drunk? I mean, it's pretty early, or the aftereffects are still lingering from a long Thursday into Friday....



    BTW...it's been hinted that a fred comes on to a site like BF and tries to get his riding position set up with photos and a lot of opinion from folks that have never fitted a bike in their lives. The same ones that complain when they go to a bike shop and get the old "eyeball fit" from the salesperson.

    LOL...

    You are the man.

    Cannondale's '08 pricing's out because I quoted prices on two bikes to a guy last evening. Straight from the dealer's '08 handbook.

    (and I am kidding here...but not about the pricing)
    "Nothing is so typical of middling minds than to harp on the intellectual deficiencies of the slightly less smart, but considerably more successful."
    Bret Stephens, WSJ

  3. #3
    Senior Member Indyv8a's Avatar
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    You are absolutely right. I will try to understand from now on the fact that since I don't race, biking is no fun. The excersise, fresh air, sensations of speed and personal goals are only accomplished if someone is keeping score. I will go officially change me screen name to Phred the Unrider.
    Slow, but at least still moving...

  4. #4
    Je pose, donc je suis. gcl8a's Avatar
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    Aw, man. I'd totally flame you if I didn't have to go wash the chain ring tattoo off my leg...

  5. #5
    Senior Member cyclezealot's Avatar
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    What is fredish about chain ring tattos. Some even like to make them permament. Being a Fred is only a temporary thing. Even if not a racer type. Give a dedicated recreational rider six months and his/her heart rate, guads will supersize any American by at least two fold. Once those quads hatch out , you should have enough experience to get beyond freddom.

  6. #6
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    I dont know which one is more freddish, the guy that falls on his clipless or the know it all elistic who thinks he can judge your bike fit with one pic

    ( not referring to you pcad, but to my bike)

  7. #7
    Pretty Hate Machine Weeks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indyv8a View Post
    You are absolutely right. I will try to understand from now on the fact that since I don't race, biking is no fun. The excersise, fresh air, sensations of speed and personal goals are only accomplished if someone is keeping score. I will go officially change me screen name to Phred the Unrider.
    why did you stumble into the bike racing subforum? god help you now. i'm not sure even He could save you from the imminent hamer droping from a thousand angry roadies clad in assos bibs

  8. #8
    Senior Member roadwarrior's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl View Post
    I dont know which one is more freddish, the guy that falls on his clipless or the know it all elistic who thinks he can judge your bike fit with one pic

    ( not referring to you pcad, but to my bike)
    c'mon...Pcad needed two entire threads to get his tt bike "fitted"...certainly goes into the fred hall of fame...
    "Nothing is so typical of middling minds than to harp on the intellectual deficiencies of the slightly less smart, but considerably more successful."
    Bret Stephens, WSJ

  9. #9
    Peloton Dog patentcad's Avatar
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    I don't actually drink alcohol. My posts here are the potent effects of endorphins on the human brain.

    I have to disagree with RW. Multiple threads here to fit a TT bike are not fredworthy. Somebody as slow as me actually PAYING an LBS to fit me, now that WOULD be.

    Next phase: BF Wind Tunnel Testing Threads.

  10. #10
    Je pose, donc je suis. gcl8a's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
    Next phase: BF Wind Tunnel Testing Threads.
    Start with a car, a fish scale, some rope and incense...

  11. #11
    Blast from the Past Voodoo76's Avatar
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    Im still waitin to hear how the Fred Nationals went, or havn't they finished yet?

  12. #12
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    A haiku:

    Winter's almost here
    Cold wind makes Freds disappear
    Layering feels good

  13. #13
    Peloton Dog patentcad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Voodoo76 View Post
    Im still waitin to hear how the Fred Nationals went, or havn't they finished yet?
    20.5 mph average speed for 62 hilly miles. I detonated on the last hill (sadly there were witnesses) and finished with a chase group of 3-4 (there were 3-4 guys about a minute up the road, I had detonated chasing them). I rode too hard the previous day, and spent the first 2/3 Sunday chasing MTB racers up grinding hills. That did turn out to be a mistake. Why?

    Here's what roadies do when they have a gap at the top of a hill: they pull sharp tacks out of their rear pocket, throw them over their shoulder and start doing a rotating paceline in the hopes of staying off the front.

    Here's what MTB dudes do: they put out 1000 watts for the last 200 meters of the climb, get to the top, and then start handing the hash pipe around.

    It's a different mentality.

  14. #14
    Senior Member late's Avatar
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    I am Fred, hear me roar
    In numbers too big to ignore
    And I know too much to go back an' pretend
    'cause I've heard it all before
    And I've been down there on the floor
    No one's ever gonna keep me down again

    CHORUS
    Oh yes I am wise
    But it's wisdom born of pain
    Yes, I've paid the price
    But look how much I gained
    If I have to, I can do anything
    I am strong (strong)
    I am invincible (invincible)
    I am Fred!

    You can bend but never break me
    'cause it only serves to make me
    More determined to achieve my final goal
    And I come back even stronger
    Not a novice any longer
    'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

    CHORUS

    I am Fred watch me grow
    See me standing toe to toe
    As I pdeal my sweaty butt across the land
    But I'm still a Homey Doh!
    With a long long way to go
    Until I make my brother understand


    Oh yes I am wise
    But it's wisdom born of pain
    Yes, I've paid the price
    But look how much I gained
    If I have to I can face anything
    I am strong (strong)
    I am invincible (invincible)
    I am Fred
    Oh, I am Fred
    I am invincible
    I am strong

    Fred Ex, we deliver the goods

  15. #15
    ....gets the cheese Second Mouse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
    20.5 mph average speed for 62 hilly miles. I detonated on the last hill (sadly there were witnesses) and finished with a chase group of 3-4 (there were 3-4 guys about a minute up the road, I had detonated chasing them). I rode too hard the previous day, and spent the first 2/3 Sunday chasing MTB racers up grinding hills. That did turn out to be a mistake. Why?

    Here's what roadies do when they have a gap at the top of a hill: they pull sharp tacks out of their rear pocket, throw them over their shoulder and start doing a rotating paceline in the hopes of staying off the front.

    Here's what MTB dudes do: they put out 1000 watts for the last 200 meters of the climb, get to the top, and then start handing the hash pipe around.

    It's a different mentality
    .

    I was hoping to find you a wider brush, but this was the best I could do. Sorry!

  16. #16
    Huh?
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  17. #17
    Pretty Hate Machine Weeks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runtimmyc View Post
    hahahahah. usually randomness is stupid and annoying, but i'll admit that made me laugh

  18. #18
    Third World Layabout crtreedude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
    They outnumber you racer weenies about 100:1. And there's nothing you can do about it. Somewhere, at any given moment, some Fred is keeling over at an intersection, unable to free himself from the bonds of his clipless pedals.

    Read it and weep, but better yet, ignore it, for the full realization of this reality is rather staggering in its humanity.



    Sometimes, late at night, I lie awake wondering what it would be like to watch the world recede in a helmet mirror. But I will never really know.
    Did little ole Patencad get dropped by a Fred again...

  19. #19
    pan y agua merlinextraligh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by late View Post
    I am Fred, hear me roar
    In numbers too big to ignore
    And I know too much to go back an' pretend
    'cause I've heard it all before
    And I've been down there on the floor
    No one's ever gonna keep me down again

    CHORUS
    Oh yes I am wise
    But it's wisdom born of pain
    Yes, I've paid the price
    But look how much I gained
    If I have to, I can do anything
    I am strong (strong)
    I am invincible (invincible)
    I am Fred!

    You can bend but never break me
    'cause it only serves to make me
    More determined to achieve my final goal
    And I come back even stronger
    Not a novice any longer
    'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

    CHORUS

    I am Fred watch me grow
    See me standing toe to toe
    As I pdeal my sweaty butt across the land
    But I'm still a Homey Doh!
    With a long long way to go
    Until I make my brother understand


    Oh yes I am wise
    But it's wisdom born of pain
    Yes, I've paid the price
    But look how much I gained
    If I have to I can face anything
    I am strong (strong)
    I am invincible (invincible)
    I am Fred
    Oh, I am Fred
    I am invincible
    I am strong

    Fred Ex, we deliver the goods
    I have this mental picture of Chipcom in drag singing

  20. #20
    Race to train jrennie's Avatar
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    6:1 The amount of threads Pcad starts vs other users

    50% of them are about his unhealthy crush on his TT bike or Freds.

    simmer down Ryan, woops I ment Pcad.

  21. #21
    pan y agua merlinextraligh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
    They outnumber you racer weenies about 100:1.
    I take comfort from this. While I may suck in my lowly part of the racing community, it's comforting to know that I'm at least faster than a bunch of people who don't even give it a go.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by jrennie View Post
    6:1 The amount of threads Pcad starts vs other users

    50% of them are about his unhealthy crush on his TT bike or Freds.

    simmer down Ryan, woops I ment Pcad.
    +1.

    Otherwise known as "OKD". (Obsessive Keyboard Dysfunction).

    Bob
    Be the Bike

  23. #23
    Senior Member late's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by merlinextraligh View Post
    I have this mental picture of Chipcom in drag singing
    Good one

  24. #24
    Realist Greg180's Avatar
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    These brief insights into the inner workings of a troubled mind should be encouraged. I applaud Pcads ability to not only verbalize his mental entanglements but to also find a forum that will respond to them.

  25. #25
    Peloton Dog patentcad's Avatar
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    Sorry to disappoint, the guys that dropped me were racing dudes. And getting gapped by a minute or so on a 62 mile ride isn't exactly the Shelling of the Century.

    You are all responding, aren't you? I am not alone. It's like the Looney Hatch water cooler around here.

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