Fact is, I'm just not as cool as the rest of you.
I was a crap athlete in school (I could run, but never at the top of the competition). I played a dozen musical instruments, programmed computers in the early 80's until the present. I carry a 3.98 GPA (5 classes from the BA). I programmed for an online RPG for 6 years. My job is essentially 9 hours a day of trigonometry. In the 34 years of my life, I've always been a dork.
So... what makes me a "bike dork?"
My training logs are as anal retentive as they can be. I've now even programmed my excel spreadsheets in VBA because I don't trust Cyclingpeaks algorithms anymore.
I can tell you how to record Cycling.tv videos with 4 different video capture programs, but I couldn't list more than a dozen bike racers of interest to anyone.
I don't know the difference between Tour of Flanders and Ronde de Vlanderen (or whatever)
I can throw up the victory salute a lap early!
Finally, though I've ridden some 50,0000 km in the last three years in clipless pedals, I can ride over to the light pole with the "Push for the Walk signal", and then successfully TIP OVER when the front wheel catches on the edge of the sidewalk at one of the busiest intersections in the county completely clipped in.