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Thread: Cross for cars

  1. #1
    Resident Alien Racer Ex's Avatar
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    Cross for cars

    I need some investor help with this, but I think I'm on to something.

    So you take a Formula 1 car, put snow tires and crappy brakes on it, then design a course around some industrial park parking lot that's part dirt road.

    Twice a lap the driver has to stop, shut off the engine, then he jumps out and has to push the car over some speed bumps. He jumps back in and away we go.

    It's got none of the speed or skill of actual F1 or the handling of a rally car, and relies on the ability to do something that's the complete antithesis of why cars were invented in the first place.

    I think it could be the next great thing.

    The preceding is an exercise in satire and parody and will no doubt be removed to "Foo" even though a cross thread has as much to do with road bike racing as this does. The author has, in fact, raced cross and even won a cross race, though he found it kinda tedious and it made his wrists hurt. He prefers real road bike racing, hucking it on his MTB, and petting his Chessies to cross.

  2. #2
    Making a kilometer blurry waterrockets's Avatar
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    Dude, don't talk so fast.

  3. #3
    RustyTainte substructure's Avatar
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    Put down the weed and back away from the computer.

  4. #4
    going roundy round wanders's Avatar
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    If I ever catch you in a death spiral, I will give you such a pinch.
    Quote Originally Posted by CastIron View Post
    Damn.

  5. #5
    Genetics have failed me Scummer's Avatar
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    That's easy for Texans to say where the temps never drop below 60.
    Gelato aficionado.

  6. #6
    Packfodding 3 caloso's Avatar
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    Sounds like a job for these three:

    Cyclists of the world, unite! You have nothing to lube but your chains!

  7. #7
    Overacting because I can SpongeDad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by caloso View Post
    Sounds like a job for these three:

    the did have the episode where the tank chased the range rover through the woods and across muddy fields
    “Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." (Churchill)

    "I am a courageous cyclist." (SpongeDad)

  8. #8
    Packfodding 3 caloso's Avatar
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    The Communist car race (Moskvich v. Leyland ???) seemed CX'ish. I wish one of them had raced the Niva.
    Cyclists of the world, unite! You have nothing to lube but your chains!

  9. #9
    Making a kilometer blurry waterrockets's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scummer View Post
    That's easy for Texans to say where the temps never drop below 60.
    It's not all roses here. I went for lunch training rides at 33-37F in the rain for two weeks straight back in December. Up where RX lives, it's colder in the winter.

  10. #10
    Genetics have failed me Scummer's Avatar
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    I'm weeping for you WR. NOT.
    Chicago, IL - 46F
    Austin, TX - 73F
    Gelato aficionado.

  11. #11
    Resident Alien Racer Ex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by waterrockets View Post
    It's not all roses here. I went for lunch training rides at 33-37F in the rain for two weeks straight back in December. Up where RX lives, it's colder in the winter.
    Perhaps.

    And besides, for many years I lived a few miles from where the Donner Party made finger sandwiches on a mountain where I heard avalanche cannons after every "dusting", and more than once I shoveled snow UP off my roof.

  12. #12
    Trying to keep up ericcox's Avatar
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    North TX of late is more like the pacific northwest anyway. A cross race in these parts this week (or the whole month of October so far) would be a muddy affair. Hell, some of my road riding lately resembles cross to an extent as I dodge new barriers (giant potholes from the rain) and splash through mud puddles.

  13. #13
    In beaurocratic limbo urbanknight's Avatar
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    I always figured rally racing was cross for cars. It doesn't have the suspension or ruggedness of an offroad truck, and it doesn't have the speed or agility of a formula car, yet they hurl the otherwise pavement intended machines down dirt fire roads, through creeks, and off jumps with a few limited modifications.
    "Well, I guess you can cut the arts as much as you want... Sooner or later, these kids aren't going to have anything to read or write about." (Richard Dreyfus as Glenn Holland)

  14. #14
    Village Idiot
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    Quote Originally Posted by caloso View Post
    Sounds like a job for these three:

    I'll raise you with these three:

    Truth, like light, blinds. Falsehood, on the contrary, is a beautiful twilight that enhances every object.
    -Albert Camus

    Hammer Nutrition 15% discount!!!

  15. #15
    Senior Member
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    Ha. Ha. Well done!

    Yeah, it is a pretty redonk sport, but I still love it.
    Last edited by bitterken; 10-13-09 at 03:46 PM.

  16. #16
    Making a kilometer blurry waterrockets's Avatar
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    Here's how you clear obstacles:




    For the paved stuff: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ7R_buZPSo

  17. #17
    going roundy round wanders's Avatar
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    clearing obstacles is for wussy.

    Quote Originally Posted by CastIron View Post
    Damn.

  18. #18
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    Racer Ex, that was brilliant.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Brian Ratliff's Avatar
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    I think the secret to a good 'cross race is the course. A dirt road and a couple barriers just doesn't cut it. You've got to throw in some runups, off-cambers, tricky turns, mud or sand... basically, if you aren't in danger of taking the wrong line and ending up off your wheels at least a couple times a lap, it's not a 'cross race.

    I use cross season as a skills session. I don't need to be fit until April, or at the earliest, Feb, so I just use this time of the year as a break from the road with no training pressure. It helps that Portland is home to purportedly the largest 'cross race in the world. Alpenrose Dairy, Cross Crusade #1, drew out about 1,400 racers in total this year.
    Cat 2 Track, Cat 3 Road.
    "If you’re new enough [to racing] that you would ask such question, then i would hazard a guess that if you just made up a workout that sounded hard to do, and did it, you’d probably get faster." --the tiniest sprinter

  20. #20
    No matches Flatballer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by urbanknight View Post
    I always figured rally racing was cross for cars. It doesn't have the suspension or ruggedness of an offroad truck, and it doesn't have the speed or agility of a formula car, yet they hurl the otherwise pavement intended machines down dirt fire roads, through creeks, and off jumps with a few limited modifications.
    You forgot about making them get out and push the car though.

  21. #21
    Ink-Stained Wretch pinky's Avatar
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    "wah, my artsy writing got tossed, so I'm going to go crap in the sandbox"

  22. #22
    Resident Alien Racer Ex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinky View Post
    "wah, my artsy writing got tossed, so I'm going to go crap in the sandbox"
    As an editor I'm offended that you can't even get the expletive right.

    It's Waaaah!!! not a feeble "wah". I know, I know, it was before your time.

    BTW, Monty Python? Not his real name.

  23. #23
    Senior Member DannoXYZ's Avatar
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    http://www.rallycross.com - interesting mix of offroad and tarmac racing.

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