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  1. #1
    Resident Alien Racer Ex's Avatar
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    Offthebackistani made easy.

    A lot of newer riders are intimidated by the difficulty of learning Offthebackistani, given that there are few if any online translators available and Rosetta Stone has yet to develop any programs.

    I've thrown together a few helpful phrases that can come in handy:
    -----------------------------------
    "Helme": I cannot catch my breath. Please call the medics.

    Air quality in Offthebackistan is often poor and lacking oxygen.
    -----------------------------------
    "Eygotflat": I make excuse for bad performance.

    This is acceptable for both bike racing and if you happen to get a date with a podium girl. Interchangeable with "Mibraak wus rubink"
    ------------------------
    "Wareis nerost siti": My friends left me, I am lost.

    People visiting Offthebackistan who fail to stay with the tour group often have trouble with the poor roadside markings.
    ------------------------
    Kanu giv riid: I am lost and tired

    See "Wareis nerost siti"
    -------------------------
    "Kramp kramp kramp": Do you have any water?
    -------------------------
    "Ahahah": I have a cramp.
    -------------------------
    "Eygot dropd": I should have raced an easier category.

    This phrase actually has multiple meanings and needs to be used in context. It could also mean "They are stronger than I am", "It is very windy today", or "I don't ride much"
    --------------------------
    "Eygot yeldat ": Please forgive me, I am new here and do not know your customs.

    Offthebackistan is an old culture with many nuanced customs and it's common to make mistakes which offend the local population

    --------------------------
    "Eyam Looosr": Thank you for riding in front of me. Let us now race for 67th position.

    In parts of the country this can be exchanged for "Eyam dooch"
    ------------------------------
    "Eykwit": I visit here many times
    Last edited by Racer Ex; 04-03-12 at 12:30 PM.

  2. #2
    VeloSIRraptor
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    Rather than being clever witty, weren't you supposed to be playing with the latest robotic gadgets from japan?
    Quote Originally Posted by shovelhd View Post
    If it comes down to a field sprint, you probably won't win, so don't let it.

  3. #3
    Resident Alien Racer Ex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hida Yanra View Post
    Rather than being clever witty, weren't you supposed to be playing with the latest robotic gadgets from japan?
    China. Everything's made in China these days.

  4. #4
    soon to be gsteinc... rkwaki's Avatar
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    I hope your back gets better soon it is very clear that you have far too much time on yer hands...
    "if you ride it the way it's meant to be ridden there's no way any wife is less of a ***** than a bicycle." - gstein

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rkwaki View Post
    I hope your back gets better soon it is very clear that you have far too much time on yer hands...
    +1. but i got a good laugh out of it, so thanks.

  6. #6
    I need speed AzTallRider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by climber7 View Post
    +1. but i got a good laugh out of it, so thanks.
    Me too. Given some recent results, I'm have use for the phrases.
    "If you're riding less than 18 MPH up a 2% grade please tell people Coggan is coaching you."

  7. #7
    Elite Fred mollusk's Avatar
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    You know the language well for spending so little time there.

    Added in edit: I finally figured it out. RacerEx overhears most of this while in transit to Lap(thefield) Land.
    Last edited by mollusk; 04-03-12 at 03:28 PM.
    I'm the world's forgotten boy. The one who's searchin', searchin' to destroy.

  8. #8
    VeloSIRraptor
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    Quote Originally Posted by Racer Ex View Post
    China. Everything's made in China these days.
    even the latest high-tech aerobars?
    Quote Originally Posted by shovelhd View Post
    If it comes down to a field sprint, you probably won't win, so don't let it.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
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    this should be a sticky

  10. #10
    You blink and it's gone. rbart4506's Avatar
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    Considering my current condition...And the fact I do suck...I really should brush up
    "On the other hand riding down a hill at 55 MPH wearing (essentially) women's underwear and a Styrofoam cup on your head is the epitome of rational life-extending decisions." - RacerEx

  11. #11
    Super Moderator
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    Autocorrect must have been a beeyatch on that one.

  12. #12
    Elite Rider Hermes's Avatar
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    And you know that Deadf'inglastistan borders Offthebackistan where a slightly different dialect is spoken.
    "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Einstein

  13. #13
    You blink and it's gone. rbart4506's Avatar
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    ^^^Been there, not a nice place...
    "On the other hand riding down a hill at 55 MPH wearing (essentially) women's underwear and a Styrofoam cup on your head is the epitome of rational life-extending decisions." - RacerEx

  14. #14
    . botto's Avatar
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    Is Offthebackistani a new development, close by Niddrie?

    Sounds like it.

  15. #15
    Making a kilometer blurry waterrockets's Avatar
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    Nice.

    Don't forget:

    ------------------------
    "Identwahrmup": I got here late, only to discover two flat tires.

    If you expect to leave Offthebackistan from the north, you should probably ride around the parking lot a few times before the ***.
    ------------------------
    "Iemjusveeseeting": I can't believe you let me lap you. Again.

    Sometimes tourists enter Offthebackistan from the south and leave shortly thereafter through the north.
    ------------------------
    "Eyebonked": I was so excited that I forgot to eat.

    Ask around to see if anyone else in the country might have some chapati.
    ------------------------

  16. #16
    fuggitivo solitario echappist's Avatar
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    RX,

    I don't believe you have enough street creds to be a translator of offthebackistani, unless the offthebackistan you are talking about of OTB of the pace car

  17. #17
    Draught jwible's Avatar
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    What about some of the body language common to the Offthebackistani?

    RX gets his experience when he passes through the region on his way to crushing souls in the main peleton as he laps them.

  18. #18
    going roundy round wanders's Avatar
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    Miss Klipt runs a hostel along the border of Offthebackistan. She knows a short cut to the darkest reaches of the country.
    Quote Originally Posted by CastIron View Post
    Damn.

  19. #19
    Elite Rider Hermes's Avatar
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    RX speaks fluent Offthefrontiskani.
    "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Einstein

  20. #20
    Elite Fred mollusk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wanders View Post
    Miss Klipt runs a hostel along the border of Offthebackistan. She knows a short cut to the darkest reaches of the country.
    I know that "lady".
    I'm the world's forgotten boy. The one who's searchin', searchin' to destroy.

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