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  1. #26
    Banana Pancakes furiousferret's Avatar
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    Thanks, now you can carry on telling kids that Santa doesn't exist, and spurting out Game of Thrones spoilers.

    I didn't think Mexico had an internet, who knew?

  2. #27
    **** that mattm's Avatar
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    awesome

  3. #28
    burp
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    Quote Originally Posted by furiousferret View Post
    Thanks, now you can carry on telling kids that Santa doesn't exist, and spurting out Game of Thrones spoilers.

    I didn't think Mexico had an internet, who knew?
    I wanted to know more about the race since I knew very little about races in Mexico. Turns out the race has a webpage with a results section. Not exactly CIA-type stuff. I didn't sift through it, but they are there. Just wanted to give him a heads up if he was really trying to hide the other names.

  4. #29
    Not actually Tmonk TMonk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oespinoza83 View Post
    I wanted to know more about the race since I knew very little about races in Mexico. Turns out the race has a webpage with a results section. Not exactly CIA-type stuff. I didn't sift through it, but they are there. Just wanted to give him a heads up if he was really trying to hide the other names.
    yes but why spoil the mystery?
    "Your beauty is an aeroplane;
    so high, my heart cannot bear the strain." -A.C. Jobim, Triste

  5. #30
    Senior Member RPK79's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oespinoza83 View Post
    I wanted to know more about the race since I knew very little about races in Mexico. Turns out the race has a webpage with a results section. Not exactly CIA-type stuff. I didn't sift through it, but they are there. Just wanted to give him a heads up if he was really trying to hide the other names.
    Sigh, now he's not going to finish the story...

  6. #31
    burp
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    Story should still be told. I just clicked the results section. They aren't listed. Mystery in-tact.

  7. #32
    meow bostongarden's Avatar
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    This is the kind of stuff that makes me want to post, and keep reading!

  8. #33
    Senior Member JohnKScott's Avatar
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    How do you subscribe?



































  9. #34
    Senior Member globecanvas's Avatar
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    This should have been titled

    Fear and Loathing in Mazatlan: A Gonzo Vuelta
    Ninny

  10. #35
    Resident Alien Racer Ex's Avatar
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    Chapter Three
    Stage Two

    “Can you see the numbers?”

    “No”

    “Stop here and let me out and I’ll run up”

    “We need to pull off the road, traffic is backing up”

    “We’re up next, they have 9 to go”

    “****!”

    “Just park in the construction lot”

    “Tire pump! Where’s the tire pump?”

    “Spare wheels?”

    “Only ten speed, you’re on 11”

    “****!”

    "****!, ****!, ****!"

    (Ride through dirt construction area, dodge oncoming traffic, bunny hop up curb, bunny hop down curb)

    “I need to get my jersey from the promoter!”

    “YOU NEED TO SIGN IN! Modelo tent!”

    (Head shaking from official)

    “Lo siento” (some of my Baja Spanish is coming back)

    (Line up)

    “Yamaha Honda se tapas de no ******. Degas de Devinchi numero siete no plumas Delgado Ramariez. Donde esta Iman!”

    (Whistle blows)

    Hogan attacks. El Chapo attacks. I attack, Francis counters. I sit up. Gap. El Negro bridges to Francis, they take off. After several attempts to bridge by Hogan and I that are covered and shut down, Francis is making gestures to the effect of “Hurry up!”

    More attempts, more covering. It’s flippin hot and humid and I’m dripping sweat like Seattle rain. Shut down several breaks that look like they might have a chance, I’m sure Francis can win from a two man and want to keep him one-on-one, unless one of is there to chaperone. Get away with two guys at one point but they are disinclined to tow me up.

    Francis wins by a minute and change, the guy he’s with moves up to 5th on GC. Hogan wins the field sprint for third. I roll in 10th after shutting down a last lap flyer. 1/3/10 for the team. Yellow jersey for Francis. Still 1/2/4 on GC.

    We go back to the car and change. We have to stick around for the podium to get paid and we need to move the car. The town is next to a river perched on a hill with a street “plan” that obviously traced the path of a peyote eating mule deer. We eventually find our way to a street that takes us to an access point to the course. We show the Policia the bikes and he lets us through. Hogan hands him a cold drink on the way down.

    We find a spot on the sidewalk to park. We are in the heart of hurricane country where the curbs are built to allow the streets to become deep rivers. Our first attempt up ends in loud noises and failure. As in life, momentum will overcome obstacles; our second attempt is successful, albeit with more noise than the first.

    The next couple of hours are spent in the van running the air conditioning and watching the other races, with brief forays to the bathroom (banos) which are located where ever you can find a discreet place to go, the Porta Potty industry is in it's infancy here.

    Podium done we follow some Mexican friends through town on a Mr. Toads ride through the back streets. Up, down, gravel, dirt, pull in the mirrors to squeeze through spots…at one point I’m thinking we’ll probably be stopped by masked gunman, removed from the car, and kidnapped for ransom.

    Actually, not true. Despite the US press playing up the violent aspects of Mexico, I felt a lot safer there than many of the inner cities I’ve spent time in in the US. Or lived in for that matter.

    Eventually we arrive at a “locals” seafood place. Table para diez por favor. Two giant plates of ceviche, a giant platter of tacos marlin and tacos camerones, several (actually many) buckets of Modelo Light (hey, we’re racers, got to watch those calories) and a purchase of a big bag of fruit empanadas later, we’re back on the road.

    We give a ride back to Mazatlan to one of the pro “kids” who Hogan had lent his TT bike to the day before. In between discussions of the next day’s course (“very hard”) he gives us a dissertation on the local “talent” (not the racing type) of the various countries he’s visited.

    If I was single, Argentinia might be on the top of my tourist visa pile.


    Vuelta Ciclista Mazatlan- Stage Two
    Circuit Race
    Max Temp: 104
    Finish: 10th
    GC: 4th
    Last edited by Racer Ex; 06-11-14 at 10:56 AM.

  11. #36
    VeloSIRraptor
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    Quote Originally Posted by Racer Ex View Post
    (Whistle blows)
    Hogan attacks.

    The rest of the field:
    t-shirt-hogans-heroes-klink.jpg
    Quote Originally Posted by shovelhd View Post
    If it comes down to a field sprint, you probably won't win, so don't let it.

  12. #37
    Making a kilometer blurry waterrockets's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Racer Ex View Post
    We find a spot on the sidewalk to park. We are in the heart of hurricane country where the curbs are built to allow the streets to become deep rivers. Our first attempt up ends in loud noises and failure. As in life, momentum will overcome obstacles; our second attempt is successful, albeit with more noise than the first.
    Q. What's the difference between a 4x4 and a rental car?

    A. A rental car can go anywhere.

  13. #38
    Senior Member IBOHUNT's Avatar
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    Patiently awaits chapter 4....

  14. #39
    Resident Alien Racer Ex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IBOHUNT View Post
    Patiently awaits chapter 4....
    Coming. May be a few days. Life stuff.

  15. #40
    meow bostongarden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Racer Ex View Post
    Coming. May be a few days. Life stuff.
    I put my John Green book down expecting a literary triumph here. When I sign in, I want value. Harumph!

  16. #41
    Senior Member IBOHUNT's Avatar
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    I'll take a shot doing a Sig Hansen on this...

    I want my update and I want it now

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chGftqpxk60

  17. #42
    Senior Member Moyene Corniche's Avatar
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    Hmm... Shades of Bobke.. :-)
    subscribed, reading this amusing tale whilst listening to Rammstein.
    It is somehow befitting..
    Ah.... Voila les Cannon ... !!

  18. #43
    Elite Fred mollusk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hida Yanra View Post

    The rest of the field:
    t-shirt-hogans-heroes-klink.jpg
    Quote Originally Posted by Racer Ex View Post
    (Whistle blows)

    Hogan attacks. El Chapo attacks. I attack
    A very late attack from Racer Ex. It must be the team tactic.
    I'm the world's forgotten boy. The one who's searchin', searchin' to destroy.

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