Allister, that is a subject I'm a little sensitive on. If I bring my 86 year old mother half way across the continent to live with me; I make her leave the town she was born in and has lived all of her life in. I tell her she can't visit her son's and husband's graves every Sunday. I put her into a community that is completely alien, where she knows not one person other than my family. That could be disorienting at any age. My other choice is to abandon my husband. Our society has made it very hard for families to function well. There isn't a simple solution.