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Old 01-10-02, 10:03 PM
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Galadriel
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Decatur, Ga
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five second rule

The Five Second Rule states that food left/dropped on the floor may still be eaten if it has only been there for five seconds or less; this rule has proven to be the starving college student's best friend. My little buddy the five second rule is also applicable to other areas of life. Here are some examples.

1) Advice for guys on dating: When you walk your date to the door at the end of a date and lean in to suggest a kiss, if she does not move for five seconds, take a hint and leave. The woman does not want to kiss you, just save yourself the embarrasment of having the door slammed in your face and leave while you're ahead.

2) You know that myth regarding tardy professors? In five minutes you can leave if it's a visiting instructor, ten if it's a tenure track professor, and 15 if it's a department head? I say, if you're there on time and your prof isn't, give them five seconds after they're supposed to be there and then leave. If they aren't there by now, they won't be there to see you walking out the door.

3) More dating advice: Your man comes to pick you up, and he knocks on the door. If he does not respond to your greeting within five seconds, slam the door in his face and consider the date over. Slow response time equals slow intellect, and he probably has the mental capacity of vermiccelli.

4) Containers in the fridge: If considering whether or not to open the container takes more than five seconds, your first instinct is the correct one: whatever is in there is probably mutated and is awaiting its prey.

5) Dorm life: Unclaimed food left in common areas such as the lounge that remains unclaimed five seconds after you yell, "who's chips are these?" becomes public domain and is rightfully yours because you grabbed it first.
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