Looks like the answer to my question is 4 days. That's how long I will own the bike before I give it up. I don't think I've ever owned a bike for such a short time. I even had my Centurion Pro Tour for a whole month before it was stolen.
At least this one will go gracefully. I talked with the folks at the Bike Church and they said to just hoist it over the fence and leave it.