It is very important to get the reach dimension correct (more important even than standover height). If the hybreds are too short than go with the cyclocross or road frames. It is relatively easy and quick to turn the stem upside down to raise the handlebars up to nearly level with the saddle. Many here in the 50+ forum have done so due to older back/neck situations.
There are other things that you can do to help with the "head twisted up to far pain". Do not use a visor on your helmet and use your eyes more to look forward without tilting the head as much. If you wear glasses, you may find that the variable lenses do not allow you to use the upper portion of the lens. Returning to regular bifocals may help there.
Try more bikes, ask more questions. Your already riding much farther than the average entry level cyclist so you have a good feel for what you want in the next bike. Try some other bike shops even if you have to travel some.