Wow. Dopolina has a lot to ponder. I sense you are longing for the shackels to be cut. Freedom to do whatever you want every Sunday of the year.
I too am almost 43 and tried retiring this past year, but still couldn't stop doing 10-12 hours a week on the bike and jumping into a couple training crits. I am also involved behind the scenes as part of our Local Association's board of directors. Plus always helping with free coaching for the needy.
I think the only way you or I can "retire" is to step away completely. Stop reading bike forums, cyclingnews.com, or bike periodicals. Don't worry about all the people you can help by managing a team, or how you can just train a bit and do races for fun. It won't work.
Step away, enjoy your kids, see how you adapt to life without it for a year, then if the bug grabs you come back. But you have to give it a full year, otherwise, you won't have gotten a real taste of life without bike racing.
Good luck and keep us posted, unless of course you decide to give up the forums today. We'd know you found a bit of peace.