Originally Posted by staehpj1

I am inclined to stay together when I am the stronger rider. I slow to a pace they can manage and let them draft me. If the pace is slow and there is no headwind to the extent that drafting isn't a noticeable advantage I follow them so they can set the pace.

The dynamics can change as a tour goes on. People get in better shape or get tired, and have good or bad days, so you need to adjust the leading and following arrangements as the tour progresses.

Don't make her feel like she is holding you up, just make it clear that the pace needs to be acceptable to both of you and she needs to communicate if the pace is OK.