Cyclotoine,
These kind of complaints, from experienced sellers, concern and irk me, no-end. In the beginning, back when Ebay was a cultural phenom and the ground rules for good 'citizenship' were being made, certain protocols were adopted as proper etiquette/form.
The first rule I learned was The seller shall leave feedback for the buyer once payment has been confirmed real and good'.
The second was, and is the basis for Ebay's non-payment rules, 'The buyer shall contact the seller within 3 days and final payment is due within 7 days'. Last I checked, you cannot file for non-payment before the 7 days is up. The reasoning behind this is that, should the buyer wish to pay via the mail, sufficient time is given for the instrument to arrive.
These days, sellers put all sorts of crazy demands in their auctions and expect buyers to keep track of them. What they don't realise is that the most prolific buyers are typically participating in, and winning, many auctions at once and are not paying attention to the variance of rules 'tendered' among the auctions they've won.
If they're like me, they just pay via the rules and call that good citizenship.
Danny