Tragically I would love to do some off road mountain biking, but I live in a city and don't have a bike rack for my (tiny!) car..
In any case, thanks for all the replies! I'll be keeping my eye out for a new hybrid bike with a.. hard tail? That's what it's called when there's no suspension in the back, right? But any way, until then, I twisted the rear suspension spring so that it's completely compressed and doesn't allow any travel, and I'll look for some more flat tires for my rims next time I hit up Kyle's Bike Shop
Thanks again everyone!
(And yes, it tragically is a walmart bike, but in my defense, I thought spending $250 at walmart was as expensive as bikes got! I didn't realize you could get a carbon fiber diamond frame in the few thousand dollar range, lol! Curse my ignorance)