As several of you have said, I think the tone of the column suggested that the columnist was just trying to get people aroused. Like throwing a stink bomb into a party just to see people scatter.
FWIW, I grew up in a small town in the midwest where "bike licenses" were mandatory. Every bike in town was supposed to be registered with the city....bike tags were $5 or $10 and you couldn't buy a bike without paying for the bike tag. I think it was supposed to be a security measure (even if the thieves took the metal tags off, the serial number of every bike in town was registered with the cops).