Yep...totally depends.
Saturday Montrose Training Ride? If I've invited someone, I'll shepherd them regardless of how slow they are. If I'm alone, I'll drill it with the big boys as best I can. And I don't expect them to wait for me when they drop me.
Home club orientation ride? It's my job to coach new riders through. Sometime, they're faster than me and drop me. Fine. If they're slower, I ride with them.
Yeah, you're also right about elitism. I certainly don't consider myself one.