I've got a $3 soldering gun. For that $3 I could have bought a hot dog from the old guy with the barbecue under that canopy in front of Crappy Tire. And my soldering skills are pretty much a good match for my soldering gun. So that's a no go.
However, I got the blasted cable through the cable stop. Know how? I took the cable stop off, thereby increasing the dexterity quotient of the operation. I twisted it through in no time, returned the stop to its rightful position, and got my drivetrain set up all good, like. I now have my derailleur cables running the way Ma'at intended: along the back of the bars. With the brake cables in front, securing both sets of cables on the bars with a dash of electrical tape is a snap.
I don't know why I've always squished both sets of cables to the front of the bars up until now. My bars have always had those grooves, front and back. What's wrong with me?