These are all very good points. I am not sure we handled the situation the correct way. Maybe not. It is also quite likely they just let us go to do our own thing.
The pre-ride dynamics in any case were a bit stressed. The general feeling was that this group of young people felt we were not "real" cyclist, or at least not at the level they were. The undertone was that we were going to be a burden or embarrassment because this was a quality ride for quality cyclist. Maybe by sticking in the group we could have altered these feelings. Two wrongs don't make a right as they say.