Your cousin was mostly right. Because of your history, your idea of getting a comfortable bike is good.
First thing to do is set a budget. At a bit over a grand, it's hard to beat the Surly LHT. You might need stronger wheels, but they'd be worth trying. There are some tough hybrids if you need to spend less. You can ask about those in the Clydesdale Forum. Actually, you might want to place some questions there to see what the guys think.
If the budget can go higher you have quite a few choices. For one thing, Waterford makes bikes for Rivendell. Most of the off the rack frames are actually made at Waterford or Toyo.
Gunnar is Waterford's 'budget' line. They have a new frame called Fast Lane.
http://www.gunnarbikes.com/fastlane.php
My Gunnar Sport has a piece of tubing inside the seat tube that allows my seatpost to bottom out. Not seatpost slipping. I really like that. They could add that to any frame.
I would suggest getting strong wheels. If you want a touring style frame, then touring wheels, 36 straight gauge spokes, prob 14s, on Shimano hubs would
never let you down.
For more of a lite touring approach, Synergy rims, 36 spokes, Shimano mtn hubs.
A fast roadie setup would be CXP33 rims, 32 spokes, shimano road hubs. When I first got them, I weighed almost as much as you do. Really, really strong rims.
Road bikes typically take 23c tires which are pretty narrow and are hard. Touring tires run large, and are heavy and a bit slow since they usually are used with heavy touring wheels. You can go in between, and use one of the lighter 32c tires.
Test ride a bunch of bikes, you need to get a feel for what works for you. When you do, keep us updated on your progress.