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Old 08-05-05, 04:18 PM   #1
Bike nut
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The Other Side of an Accident

I know we all get mad when we hear about cyclists getting hit by cars. I have even put comments about how the person gets away with it. Last night something horrific happened in my family. I do not want to go into details because it has been on the news in the area. A member of my family had a car vs car accident and some (more than one) person has been killed. My family member (fm) was not drunk, was not speeding. All that happened is the vehicle of my family member hit another car. The police are calling it an accident.
My fm is crushed, they cannot stop crying, I am crushed, I slept two hours last night, I don't feel like doing anything. I cannot stop thinking about what this other family is going through. I cannot stop thinking about what is going to happen to my fm. The rest of my family is crushed. We are constantly praying for the other family. This pain is something that I would not wish on anyone. If the police gave my fm a ticket it would not make the other family's pain any less. I am thinking of getting my family to help pay for the funeral.
Next time someone hits someone, just remember that that person now has to live with the fact that they have killed another human being. I just wanted to let you know what it is like. My life and my families life as well as the families of the deceased will never be the same. Please, if you have any insults, please keep them to yourself.
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Old 08-05-05, 04:42 PM   #2
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Sorry for your and the other family's loss. It is easy to forget about the pain that surrounds terrible events like these. I think where the anger comes in for many forum members, at least for me, is when the perpetrators were drunk, obviously negligent, or they attempt to shift the blame to the victim. This doesn't sound like the case at all in your situation, but I would still be willing to bet that there is some anger floating around with the victims family. I don't think it's personal, just natural. How could you not be angry about losing someone you love.

Plus, when forum members here about cyclists being killed by negligent, or drunk drivers all we can think about is, "that could be me, or my loved one."

Again, sorry for your loss and pain. It sounds like your FM is lucky to have your support right now.
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Old 08-05-05, 04:43 PM   #3
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If the police are saying it was an accident then I pressume it was. Can't really comment more because I odviously don't know the details.
I can't even imagine the feeling of killing another person but hopefully time will make it clear it was just an accident.
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Old 08-05-05, 06:11 PM   #4
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i'm sorry for your, and the other family's, pain and suffering. whenever someone is killed in any accident, automotive or otherwise, it's terrible for all the survivors.

one of my best friends is currently serving a 2-year sentence for vehicular manslaughter. it was a single-vehicle accident, neither of the occupants was belted in, there were no witnesses and he doesn't remember what happened. his passenger was ejected from the vehicle. both his family and the passenger's are in a lot of pain, and have been since it happened. they are all getting through it with help.

i'd suggest counseling - either from a professional counselor or a member of the clergy. perhaps both. and that's for everyone involved - not just your fm, but you and anyone else close to either side of the accident.

if it helps any, you and your fm will be in my prayers tonight.
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Old 08-05-05, 07:16 PM   #5
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The pain that you and your family are experiencing simply means that you have genuinely loving hearts are deeply concerned about the well being of other people. Who could take offense to that. People with cold hearts don't cry. When I ride the roadways, I keep trying to convince myself that all the motorists passing me are operated by a driver with the amount of love and concern that your family obviously has.
On occasion, there is that rare moment when I have to experience the cold hearted, non-feeling, laugh-if-you-get-hurt type of people. These types are clearly distinguishable from the class that your family truly represents. My condolences for your loss. Prayers to all.

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Old 08-05-05, 09:06 PM   #6
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I am sorry for your pain, but I am sure your talking a bit about it here will help you cope with it. Best wishes.
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Old 08-05-05, 11:55 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bike nut
If the police gave my fm a ticket it would not make the other family's pain any less. I am thinking of getting my family to help pay for the funeral.
I wouldn't do this. There is a very real possibility that your fm will be sued for millions of dollars and loose. Of course, they only have so much automobile coverage, and they probably don't have an umbrella liability policy, but after that they can go after any and all possesions that your fm has. My father was killed in an automobile accident, I know. Well, I don't know about the specifics of the accident, who was at fault, or if in court paying for the feuneral would be an implicit admitance of guilt.

Quote:
Next time someone hits someone, just remember that that person now has to live with the fact that they have killed another human being. I just wanted to let you know what it is like. My life and my families life as well as the families of the deceased will never be the same. Please, if you have any insults, please keep them to yourself.
Well, they guy who hit and killed my father had a suspended drivers licence for DUI, was known to run red lights, and was checking his voice mail at the time. He had no respect for other people on the road.

PS- Life goes on and things will get better; eventually. Your family is in my thoughts.
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Old 08-06-05, 12:12 AM   #8
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Bike Nut,

I really am at a loss for words. I just wish I could help with the suffering you and all involved are feeling. So very sorry.
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Old 08-06-05, 12:21 AM   #9
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very chilling and humbling story!!

I suppose I can say this has touched me in a way to think about my own driving/riding habits. and How I might change them to reduce this kind of possibility in my future.
Accidents only take split seconds to happen, and then lives are changed forever.
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Old 08-06-05, 12:34 AM   #10
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I am sorry bike nut for what you and the families are going through.

Every time we go out on the road in a motor vehicle we could each of us kill someone if the wrong circumstances occur. Drivng is an inherently dangerous activity and always will be until the computers take over.
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