Dear Wrongway Cyclist:
This morning about 6:05am near Executive Airport you were traveling north in the bike lane of southbound Freeport Boulevard, which is to say in the wrong direction. I was traveling south. I was wearing my Cal Cycling jersey and riding a Trek 5200 outfitted with a Cygo-Light Night Rover and a Planet Bike blinkie. I don't know what you were riding or what you were wearing except that you had no light or blinkie, that your clothing was dark, that you had no helmet, and that your bike is in such bad need of tuning and lubing that I heard you before I saw you.
I called you a "genius" but I trust you understood that I meant that ironically. I cursed you with some strong words for being a hazard to both yourself and me. And I suggested that if you wouldn't ride in the proper direction, wouldn't use a light or blinkie or wouldn't wear a helmet, would you at least carry an organ donor card.
I do not apologize for this. In fact, if I come across you tomorrow morning, I'll have some even more colorful words for you. But know that I have said a prayer for you, asking Our Lady of Ghisallo and St. Christopher to intervene on behalf of your safety. I hope that the old saying is true, that God takes care of children, drunks, and fools, because it is clear that you qualify as at least one of those categories.
Good luck. If you continue to cycle this way, you'll need it.