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  1. #1
    Crank Crushing Redneck SamDaBikinMan's Avatar
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    What the H#** do you think about this.....

    Read this little opinion column in the AJC online. I will include a link fo those of you who like me want to send a little note to the editor.


    Lance Armstrong's great, but pedaling's not a sport

    "If the season doesn't start with a bunch of guys gathering around a keg and holding a draft, it isn't a real sport."

    By JOHN KELSO

    Lance Armstrong being named Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year is an early Christmas present for me. Under normal circumstances, I only get one chance a year -- in summer, during the Tour de France -- to make ha-ha of bicycle riders.

    But this year, thanks to SI, I find myself with this little gift-wrapped package under my tree.

    It's not that I don't admire Lance Armstrong, our hometown hero, who has won the Tour de France four times, beaten cancer and managed to tick off the entire nation of France for dominating its sport, which in itself should be worthy of the Nobel Peace Prize. Anybody who can jerk the chain on those poodle-pandering cork-sniffers has my vote.

    It's just that -- let's face it -- bicycling isn't a sport. Ever heard of a Fantasy Bicycle League? No, you haven't. If the season doesn't start with a bunch of guys gathering around a keg and holding a draft, it isn't a real sport. Although bicycling does have one thing in common with the upcoming SI swimsuit issue: The swimsuit models shave their legs, as do bicycle racers, to cut down on wind resistance.

    At least that's their story. But I don't believe them. You'd have to be hairier than the Abominable Snowman to get slowed down on a bicycle by your own hair.

    I suspect the reason bicyclists shave their legs is, they think it looks cute. And it does -- on Britney Spears.

    What the heck is Sports Illustrated doing picking pedaling, anyway? What's next? Pingpong? How could bicycle riding be a real sport?

    There are no U.S. Postal Cheerleaders. The Dallas Cowboys have cheerleaders. The U.S. Postal Service bicycle team does not have, say, the Stamp Sweeties, the Glue Gals or the Overnight Delivery Dolls.

    Does bicycle racing have bubble-gum cards? Maybe in Belgium, which reminds me: What do you call people from Belgium? The Belch?

    Ever seen a marching band take the field in the middle of a bicycle race? Nope, you don't see tubas at the Tour de France, and for darned good reason. The French hear marching music, and they think the Germans are coming.

    There is no such thing as Monday Night Bicycling. OK, so on Monday nights, there is bicycling. But it's some guy whose tight pants are cutting off the blood to his brain riding over to the Wheatsville Co-Op to pick up a Tofurkey.

    OK, by now you bicyclists are out of your chairs, making snide comments about how I'm a big fat slob. Every time I write something snotty yet poignant about you nerdy little bicycle riders, I get a bunch of e-mails pointing out that my picture makes me look like a canned ham.

    Hey, at 5 feet 11 inches, I'm a scant 210 pounds. Stacked top to bottom, that's only 2.96 pounds per inch. Heck, I've eaten sandwiches that weighed more than that.

    Besides, this is America, where it's not considered a real sport unless it comes with a beer ad. When famous bicycle riders start appearing in Coors commercials in a hot tub next to "the Twins," I'll know bicycling has become a sport. Now, I've got to go shave my legs.


    Here is the link.....

    http://www.accessatlanta.com/ajc/opi...ial_kelso.html


    This guy should go consider another occupation, he is a pretty pathetic columnist. What possible gains were made poking fun at Lance and the success of his efforts.

  2. #2
    BikeForums Founder Joe Gardner's Avatar
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    Originally posted by SamDaBikinMan
    ... What possible gains were made poking fun at Lance and the success of his efforts.
    He got me to read the article, and look at a few ad's too! Is that not what he is paid for?

  3. #3
    Crank Crushing Redneck SamDaBikinMan's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Joe Gardner


    He got me to read the article, and look at a few ad's too! Is that not what he is paid for?
    Correct indeed, and now I am guilty of spreading the virus. I still want to tell the paper where to stick this article though.

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    Considering that it is a rather po-faced, serious journal (like The New Yorker) , I suspect this may be irony (The American Statesman - sounds socialist).

  5. #5
    aka old dog greywolf's Avatar
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    Originally posted by john999
    Considering that it is a rather po-faced, serious journal (like The New Yorker) , I suspect this may be irony (The American Statesman - sounds socialist).
    yup, its just a wind-up
    but he does it rather well !
    :D
    dont worry be happy ????

  6. #6
    Life is good RonH's Avatar
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    Sam, simmer down.

    Did you notice that this guy doesn't write for the AJC? He works for an Austin (TX?) newspaper. He probably doesn't know a whole lot about Lance or cycling (other than the local urban legends) and doesn't care. His job is to write articles that will sell newspapers.

    I wouldn't waste my time writing to him. That just let's him know (and his employer/syndicated newspapers) that you read his article, which in turn means you (or someone) purchased their newspaper.

    As it says in his article, "Anybody who can jerk the chain on those poodle-pandering cork-sniffers has my vote."
    If you get all riled up then he has "jerked your chain". That's one of the main reasons for a newspaper's existence.

    Now that I've read his "opinion" (and didn't pay anything to the newspaper syndicate), I'm going to shave my legs (haven't shaved them for a couple of days), put on my lycra shorts and team jersey, and go ride my EXPENSIVE, non-Wallyworld bike.
    Last edited by RonH; 12-13-02 at 09:12 AM.
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  7. #7
    Crank Crushing Redneck SamDaBikinMan's Avatar
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    Originally posted by RonH
    Sam, simmer down.

    Did you notice that this guy doesn't write for the AJC? He works for an Austin (TX?) newspaper. He probably doesn't know a whole lot about Lance or cycling (other than the local urban legends) and doesn't care. His job is to write articles that will sell newspapers.

    I wouldn't waste my time writing to him. That just let's him know (and his employer/syndicated newspapers) that you read his article, which in turn means you (or someone) purchased their newspaper.

    As it says in his article, "Anybody who can jerk the chain on those poodle-pandering cork-sniffers has my vote."
    If you get all riled up then he has "jerked your chain". That's one of the main reasons for a newspaper's existence.

    Now that I've read his "opinion" (and didn't pay anything to the newspaper syndicate), I'm going to shave my legs (haven't shaved them for a couple of days), put on my lycra shorts and team jersey, and go ride my EXPENSIVE, non-Wallyworld bike.
    Your right Ron, I just let my emotions get the best of me on this. America has finally started paying more attention to cycling due to the postal men and I see trash like this that tries to make a mockery of it. Where's my shotgun.........

  8. #8
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    Guys:

    (IRONY ALERT)

    He is making fun of "sports fans" more than he is making fun of cycle racing. The subtext is that Americans should broaden their concept of what constitutes "sport." I think we all agree with that.

    Paul

  9. #9
    suitcase of courage VegasCyclist's Avatar
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    There are no U.S. Postal Cheerleaders. The Dallas Cowboys have cheerleaders. The U.S. Postal Service bicycle team does not have, say, the Stamp Sweeties, the Glue Gals or the Overnight Delivery Dolls.
    I thought it was funny as heck, I mean if we can't laugh at ourselves, we're really too uptight anyhow

    Originally posted by SamDaBikinMan
    OK, by now you bicyclists are out of your chairs, making snide comments about how I'm a big fat slob. Every time I write something snotty yet poignant about you nerdy little bicycle riders, I get a bunch of e-mails pointing out that my picture makes me look like a canned ham.

    Hey, at 5 feet 11 inches, I'm a scant 210 pounds. Stacked top to bottom, that's only 2.96 pounds per inch. Heck, I've eaten sandwiches that weighed more than that.
    -VegasCyclist
    "Daddy made whiskey and he made it well.... cost two dollars and it burned like hell...."
    Register!

  10. #10
    Bambo Natophelia's Avatar
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    Hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa Wether he really believes the things he said or if he was saying them because they were nuts, it was so rediculous that it was funny no matter how I looked at it. Couldn't take him seriously. And anyway, I know a few riders who carry a couple cans of beer with them on rides. Therefore, cycling must be a sport.
    Bryan the dog: "Do you listen to yourself when you talk?" The Dad: "Eh, I drift in and out." -The Family Guy
    "Rome was not built in a day, but snowglobe Rome was! Thank you, Mr. Souvenir Snowglobe Maker." -some beer commercial

  11. #11
    edk
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    Jeez Sam, it was funny. I mean if you can't poke fun at yourself or laugh at people who do then they just poke more fun at you.

    Lighten up, the article was pretty toungue in cheek and not really that bad, the leg shaving thing made me laugh.

    ed

  12. #12
    Center of the Universe ngateguy's Avatar
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    What do you expect to hear sportswise from a Texan?

    Save your energy on writting him all that will do is give him ammuntition for sydication "Look how many people I can tick off" He'll go far. In this case silence just may be golden
    Last edited by ngateguy; 12-13-02 at 12:57 PM.
    Matthew 6

  13. #13
    Veni, Vidi, Vomiti SteveE's Avatar
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    Lighten up!

    This one was actually funny, as opposed to this one (which some of you may recall from an earlier thread) ---> http://www.austin360.com/aas/metro/...702/070902.html <--- that he wrote back in July.
    "Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ...'holy *****...what a ride!'"

  14. #14
    Crank Crushing Redneck SamDaBikinMan's Avatar
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    Originally posted by edk
    Jeez Sam, it was funny. I mean if you can't poke fun at yourself or laugh at people who do then they just poke more fun at you.

    Lighten up, the article was pretty toungue in cheek and not really that bad, the leg shaving thing made me laugh.

    ed
    Yeah, maybe I just need some stress releif... I get ill when I don't get to ride much. Come on spring!

    I'll chill out and take a relaxing trip to the park with the baby.

  15. #15
    Senior Member mike's Avatar
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    Originally posted by SteveE
    Lighten up!

    This one was actually funny, as opposed to this one (which some of you may recall from an earlier thread) ---> http://www.austin360.com/aas/metro/...702/070902.html <--- that he wrote back in July.
    Ya, the writer, John Kelso, wrote this second slam against bicycling to get attention.

    His first article did receive a lot of complaints from bicyclists. Many of them ended up in the Letters to the Editor column of the paper. Kelso later wrote an apology and claimed to have ridden a bike to gain a better understanding.

    I think WE have created a monster by giving Kelso attention.

    Let's not give him any more fuel. Don't write to the paper. Let this one sink.
    Mike

  16. #16
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    Originally posted by mike

    I think WE have created a monster by giving Kelso attention.

    Let's not give him any more fuel. Don't write to the paper. Let this one sink.
    Yup. Apparently the media in the US is exactly the same as the media in this country (I noticed the newspapers that I don't buy were running the same headlines before I went on my cycle tour as the were when I got back). The guy's just trolling, that's all. If we ignore him eventually he'll get a life and do something else.
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
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  17. #17
    Senior Member mike's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Chris L

    If we ignore him eventually he'll get a life.
    No guarantees on that one, Chris.
    Mike

  18. #18
    53 miles per burrito urban_assault's Avatar
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    Like mentioned above he has done this before. I realized long ago that some people just can't deal with cyclists in any way.

    Ignore him.

  19. #19
    Sprockette wabbit's Avatar
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    I really don't think the guy was serious. No one would look at lance armstrong and think he was anything but an athlete, not even this guy. Although it's true, that a lot of cyclists wouldn't have you automatically think , "Gee he looks like a great athlete!" A lot of them are shrimpy skinny guys! Once again, it's the american or north american idea that an athlete has to look like Barry Bonds or a huge hulking linebacker.
    You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's great...if you want to attract vermin.

  20. #20
    Can't ride enough! Da Tinker's Avatar
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    Kelso pokes fun at anyone who holds still for it. After all, he's a humor columnist. He writes for the Austin American-Statesman, a paper noted for sly, irreverent attitude.

    Anyway, to prove he was a sport about it all, the local cycling community took him on a summertime ride (heat index 100 degf +) through 5:00 traffic in Austin. They even gave him a Team USPS jersey to wear.

    Read all about it here: [url]http://www.io.com/~cjwyche/bike/20020712/20020712.html

    Happiness begins with facing life with a smile & a wink.

  21. #21
    Life is good RonH's Avatar
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    Originally posted by SamDaBikinMan
    I get ill when I don't get to ride much. Come on spring!
    My sentiments exactly. Every October when the time changes I get all upset and anxiously await the first weekend in April.
    There is light at the end of the tunnel!!
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  22. #22
    riding a Pinarello Prince orguasch's Avatar
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    that person, he is just a waste of space, as simple as that.... he should be eliminated#5&3###
    "Racso", the well oiled machine;)

  23. #23
    Senior Member Greg's Avatar
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    Wait a damn minute. You people don't actually think bike riding is a sport do you?

  24. #24
    mousse de chocolat Moose's Avatar
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    To call cycling merely a sport should be considered an insult to cyclists.
    I feel more like I do now than when I first got here.

  25. #25
    Member MoonBear's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Moose
    You know what?....Chicken butt!
    ROFLMAO

    I hadn't seen or heard that in years. My old boss used to say that all the time.

    Thanks for the chuckle!

    Don

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