Ngchen

Let's start a thread solely dedicated to ways to getting back at obnoxious cagers. The honkers, tailgaters, object throwers, etc. Keep the ideas creative, but they have to be legal . So the bazooka shot to the head is out.

Santaria

Sea rescue whistle as you stand between the drivers window and the car to the left. Call it filtering if the cops bother you. Make sure the window is down so they have the kick ass ringing for the next day or so to remind them...

sentinel4675

So much for a legal solution.

donnamb 

Get harrassed by obnoxious male cager. End up at same bar as said male cager. To your surprise, he begins the pick-up routine..with you. Obviously, he doesn't recognize you. Respond with a nasty verbal castration of a sort that you would otherwise never imagine engaging in. In front of his friends. Watch the look on his face and his friends' responses with a saucy smirk. Turn on your heel and flounce away. Ride home.

BroMax

Spit on their car.

edit:
The question reminded me of this joke. So I posted it to the jokes & humor forum. Maybe there is something there that can be adapted to this situation.

CMcMahon

Follow them home, kill a bird, and stuff it into their gastank.

unkchunk

The bazooka shot to the head is out because I don't ride a tandem. I mean, who's going to tap my helmet? The dam things won't work unless someone taps your helmet.

Tom Stormcrowe

The other thing abut the bazooka shot is that there may be innocent fellow occupants in the vehicle. Just smile and wave and use ALL of your fingers, it confuses them! The best form of revenge is to live well in spite of them!

cs1

My last verbal assault against a total idiot resulted in him turning around after me. Fortunatley there were too many witnesses. While it sounds fun to do this type of retaliation, Road Rage is a reality. You have to be very careful of who you piss off. My father always said you can be "Dead Right." I finally figured what that meant. Good luck and try to stay alive.

Tim

CommuterRun

Good one.

DigitalQuirk

Note their license plate. Use one of the many on-line services to obtain their name and address by doing a reverse search on the license plate number (google 'license plate reverse search'). Most cases, it's a heterosexual male who's the offender. Give him a paid one-year subscription to gay porn as a "Gift" from his "Secret lover." If he's married, you can bet what he'll get will be far worse than what he dished out. If you feel like doing a bit more investigative work, you can determine where they work, and have it sent there.

If you don't feel like paying money, you can still send him all the "Freebies" and newsletters you can find on-line that relate to *****exuality.

You would be amazed at how much you can find out about someone simply from their license plate number.

ZachS

If you're a guy, dress up like a girl and do this.

wahoonc

I used to have one of those small air horns...like you use on a small boat I had a dumb cager crowd me and the passenger was screaming obscenties, I stuck the horn in the window of the car and let them have it. Probably not the smartest move on my part but it scared the clown so much that they jerked the wheel left and hit a truck on the other side of them I did stay around for the accident report, He got the ticket for illegal move resulting in an accident. Never heard anymore about it.

Aaron

catatonic

One of the other forums I'm on does this to people that post their address, such as someone being too excited that they got a Dl or some other crap. Instead of gay porn though, we send them every freebie we can find. We call it "boxing".

I got boxed about 7 years back....I knew something was wrong when I saw a LARGE USPS boxtruck outside of my house, and the driver was pulling out stuff in my driveway....I recieved at least 4-5,000 packages from that

What I did wrong? I had a picture of me in front of the house, which hapened to have a plaque of the street address....they knew the city and state, so they just figured out the zip code, and

Daily Commute

I'm not always good enough to do this, but you're right. It really confuses them, and it doesn't ruin your ride.

N_C

Pepper spray their vehicle, not them, you don't want to cause an accident. Pepper spray has a permanent dye in it. It will not come out of clothing so it may not come off of their vehicle. If the jackass does not know you did it until he sees it later all the better.

I have done this numerous times. Once was to a white escalade. I saw the vehicle about 2 weeks after, the stain was still mostly there but was coming off.

Another thing you can use is a squirt gun & the purple primer that you can find at a hardware store used for priming plastic plumbing so the glue will stick. Purple primer will never come off of any type of surface except skin. I should know I dripped some on my wife's brand new white washer, she was not happy, it is still there. I was going to do this to vehicles but the squirt gun I had leaked. If you can find one that does not leak the stuff all over you it will work. Maybe I should silicon the seams shut on the water gun to prevent it from leaking

oboeguy

Retaliation could lead to an a55-kicking. It happened to my brother. I lately blow 'em a kiss and "who loves ya baby?". Works especially well with young males.

jwc

I've thought about tossing a paint ball at idiots, but I live in a small town and ride the same route everyday, so eventually I'll run into them again. I prefer it on my terms, say a parking lot, than theirs, behind me.

I'm still leaning toward the canned air horn idea mentioned in another thread.

Fortunately, living in a small town, as well as working for the company that services the local police cars, I get to bend the ear of the local LEO's.

trackhub

Belive it or not, private citizens in Massachusetts may report improper operation of a motor vehicle to the Registry of motor vehicles.( That's the DMV to some of you, and Motor Vehicle Bureau, to some others. ) Don't believe it? Have a link: https://www.mass.gov/rmv/forms/21171.pdf.

I've never done this, and I don't know of anyone who actually has. There are some catches here. One is that you must be prepared to follow through, by showing up at a Registry hearing if one is scheduled. This means time out of your business day, and going to a Registry office location that is probably in some skanky part of town. So, be prepared.

Also, MA law states that only a sworn police officer may issue a motor vehicle citation. The officer must witness the infraction first hand, write the citation, and personally hand it to the motorist. The motorist must then sign the citation in the officer's presence. Pretty standard in most states. So, even if you were to file one of these forms, I doubt there would be any legal action against the motorist, or any "points" (steps in MA, I think) on his/her license. As I said, I've never done this. Thought about it a few times, but never done it.

Check out things in your own state, and see if there is a similar procedure. Check out your Motor Vehicle Department's websites, and see what forms are available. Keywords for searches could be "Improper operation of vehicle".


On the other hand, DigitalQuirk's idea sounds like a lot more fun, especially if said offender is a beer-and-football type. Quirk, if it's a yuppie suburban chick in an SUV, could we make those mag subscriptions from "leather and whips"?

nm+

Call the police. If they've done something like try to hit you (with a car or trash) report that. That'ss assualt. Also, so states have road rage laws. If they're just acting like jerks, call in a driver who might be drunk (say you think they might be, unless you have proof). The worst ones often are (yellers, and aggressive). Police do take suspected DUI's very seriously, so only call them if they really do seem like they could be.

CommuterRun

Just smile and wave.

It seems out of place is a completely unexpected response. Surprise advantage, yours.

Remember, "they" can't get you spun-up unless you let them. Why hand a stranger that kind of authority over you?

bentstrider

Find their vehicle and tag up the curb they're parked to with red spraypaint.
Call traffic enforcement and rant about some jack@$$ blocking the firelane.
Watch the unfortunate party start crying as their beloved vehicle is impounded.
Ride by and blurt out, "ha-ha!!" 'ala Nelson Muntz from the Simpsons.

DigitalQuirk

Some of the comments here (pepper spraying, paint balling, air horn, spitting on their car, calling the cops) would seem to me to only further alienate cyclists from motorists. Do you actually think the motorist is going to think, "Gee, I wish I hadn't bothered that cyclist?" Or do you think the motorist is going to think, "Just wait until next time..."

Things like "Boxing," as it's called, or other such forms of retaliation which might seem to come right out of nowhere is not only much more satisfying, it also will cause the motorist to think, "Why me?" It causes them to think about all the things they might've done to provoke someone to create misery in their lives. Maybe it was the waitress they were rude to. Perhaps it was the pizza guy they chewed out for being half a minute late. Chances are good, if they're yelling at a cyclist, they've also done something to bring some misery into someone else's life. Once they see that a degree of "Misery" (though I prefer to call it humor) can be brought to their lives quite anonymously (the anonymous proxy server list is your friend), chances are pretty good that they'll start to treat people just a little bit nicer. You'll have done your good deed for the day, and no harm is actually done. Who knows...maybe they'll actually see the humor in it and lighten up for a change.

Another tactic might be to try to befriend the offending person. You know, try to see where they're coming from, and let them know you're a real person; an actual human being, just like they are. Ah, that'll never work; nobody wants to like someone who's different than they are.

bentstrider

$3.25/Gal fuel prices and people still don't get off their high horses.
Yes, befriending them might be good, but in an area where the stoplights are at least 2-3 miles apart, all these people think about is mashing the accelerator.
I would say another legal thing to do is gather all the old folks to sign an anti-speeding/pro-speedbump petition. Since they always like to complain about "youngsters and their hip vehicles", we could use this to our advantage.
A really nice thing to see would be speed-activated speed bumps.
They'll be placed at uncertain intervals along the road and will go off when a vehicle goes 5mph over the limit. And an automatic clause of liability-waiving will be enacted.
Eliminating those pesky lawsuits brought about by a potential clients own ignorance.

Shaman

Actually, I was thinking right along those lines but a little more tame.

Think... "PING PONG BALL CANNON"

Not to hit cars but to fire a warning shot "over the bow" so to speak. No harm, no foul... "I was just playing ping pong with the dog when it went out into the street, Ocifer!".

If for some reason it spooked a driver and they crawled up a tree with their pretty little car, well, that says a lot about how they were driving to begin with. I think the skid marks and the front end damage will be enough to prosecute the driver for wreckless driving which means they won't be driving for quite a while after a few of those.

Anyone know where I can get a Ping Pong Ball Cannon?