marcm

...Thus was I enlightened today by an young female motorist, who must have thought she was rescuing me from a dangerous and inconvenient identity crisis. It was a downtown intersection, two narrow lanes in each direction, cars parallel parked in the right lane in front of me (across the intersection), so I was in the center of the left lane, first in line at the red light, waiting to go straight. Ms. Holmes was coming from the street on my right, and made a left turn onto my street, crossing in front of me (and offering her sage advice) during her turn.

I didn't know how to respond, so I just smiled and tried to let it go. I was probably as crazy and ignorant in her mind as she was in mine, and I don't think any talking (much less yelling) point would have changed that. Perhaps next time I'll smile and say, "Thank you!". Sarcasm would seem to be at least as effective as anger, and more satisfying than silence.

chephy

How 'bout: "Hey, neither is you! Can't fool me, you're a girl!"

Santaria

"You've no fear of being mistaken as smart either."

Of course, it only would be funny to stare at her if she actually had to stop for any definite time next to you and just keep looking at her in that crazy, guy on a bike in traffic sorta way.

caloso

Next time make VROOM VROOM HONK HONK sounds.

genec

"No, but I'm allowed to act like one... "

CommuterRun

"Wow, nothing gets past you! You should run for public office!"

fordfasterr

I want to bring up a point that I have made a few times before..

For some reason, the most offensive people that I have encoutered (while riding my bicycle) on the roads have all been women.

3 out of 4 incidents with motorists that I've had since December 5 of 2005 have been with women drivers. Some vocal, others not... but all have been cruel and unforgiving !!!!!!!!

specq

I usually come back with "You're not a fish!"

It is exactly as obvious - and at least as relevant.

Flamingmb

gestures speak louder than works..........

unkchunk

I got that beat. Last week a guy shouted "I can see your vagina!" at me as he drove pass. That really hurt. I mean if that was the case... how come he didn't see my giant clit?

2manybikes

how about........ " How can you tell? "

noisebeam

Why is this perceived as obnoxious or ignorant?
It was a statement of fact. Maybe she was happy that there was one less car.
Al

bbonnn

As in Gloria Steinem/Irina Dunn, "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle"?

Chris L

"Can you tell? I've had a wash!".

marcm

If you're kidding, I commend your imagination and sense of humor. If you're serious, your idea is only plausible if you weren't there. Her tone of voice unmistakably conveyed not happiness, not respect, not even anger really, but contempt. Implied was: "The road is for us cars, stupid. You're not a car, so quit acting like one. Poser."

That she said "you're not a car", rather than "that's not a car", suggests to me the degree to which many people identify with their vehicles. (To some extent I suppose this identification is natural, at least within the context of traffic on the road, but I think psychologically it goes much deeper than this.*)

*On a metaphysical note (related tangentially to the title of this thread, though not of the forum), I wonder if it's any less absurd for a driver to identify with the vehicle they "own" and seem to control, than for a person to identify with the body they "own" and seem to control. Sure, it seems like a body -- or a car-and-driver -- is autonomous, but aren't we far more complicated and interdependent than this identification (self with body, driver with car) suggests? Isn't this identification, in either case, partly true but not the whole truth?

One might object that a driver can abandon his/her car and explore places where the car cannot go. Surely a person can't similarly abandon his/her body and explore places where the body can't go, right? But isn't this just what we do when we dream? We (mentally) leave our body (which tends to rest where we left it) and explore a non-physical realm, a dreamworld, a world of the imagination or the unconscious.

And the plot thickens...consider the lifespan of a car-and-driver. It is "born" when the person drives the car for the first time. Interrupted by the non-driving times, the car-and-driver continues its waking "life" until finally one day the person drives that car for the last time. After that, the car-and-driver (as such) is dead, though the driver may live on and even drive a different car, and the car (if not destroyed or permanently abandoned) may enter a new car-and-driver "life" with a different driver.

If the analogy holds, then, we can suppose that a human being is a self-and-body, such that the body is physically created (by the act of conception, analogous to though somewhat different from the manufacture of a car), and soon thereafter it is inhabited by a self which already existed and will probably continue to exist after the body is dead. The same self may, during its lifetime, inhabit a series of different bodies -- some religions would call this "reincarnation", or if (so to speak) the driver went car-free, a simple "afterlife". (I suppose that might occur when the self has attained enlightenment, or nirvana, and therefore has transcended the cycle of reincarnation.) Although a single car will often go through multiple drivers, I would say it's rare-to-unheard-of for a body to go through multiple selves (unless one counts sudden and irreversible personality changes, perhaps precipitated by life-changing experiences or spiritual enlightenment, though this is a stretch). Usually burial or incineration seems to be enough to prevent a body from being reinhabited.

Anyway, in summary, perhaps this girl's message, "You're not a car", was only superficially an obvious statement of fact or an ignorant insinuation of wrongdoing. At a deeper level, even unconsciously, perhaps she was attempting to stimulate reflection, in the style of a Zen koan, leading to a profound insight into the nature of the universe and the meaning of life. In which case her words, far from obnoxious or irritated, were actually an expression of tremendous compassion and generosity, the act of a true bodhisattva, and I should indeed have said "thank you!"

donnamb 

It's true that women can be really cruel, but nothing unsettles me more than the male motorists who rant at me using either direct or indirect threats or implication of sexual violence. It's only happened a few times, but that's the stuff that gives me major nightmares.

soze

donnamb - wtf? "Get off the road or I'll **** you?"

Daily Commute

This is EXTREMELY serious. If that happens again (and I hope it doesn't), do whatever you can safely do to get the license plate so you can report it to the police. Even if you don't get the license, call the police, and make a report with as many details as you can.

If the police don't take it seriously, go up the chain of command all the way to your elected officials, if needed. You can also call a local **** counseling group to see if you can get them to push the police/elected officials to take it seriously

You should have nightmares about this. You should be scared. Don't let this slide.

specq

Yeah, I suppose that's why of all the nouns I've tried, fish resonates the best - although I don't use it only when women tell me I'm not a car. Feel free to substitute nouns à la Madlibs. "Pot roast" for some reason also works well.

rule

Do a two handed point to your crotch and laugh maniacally.

LittleBigMan

I had a guy tell me exactly the same thing.

"You're not a car," he informed me. I had to stop, look at myself, and agree. No tires, engine, glass, or metal. Just skin, blood, and bones.

"You're right, by Jove!" I should have said. Too bad these things only come to me later.

DigitalQuirk

The world of our dreams still exists within the confines of the structure of our brain. Our consciousness doesn't actually go anywhere. We dream because our brains don't get switched off when we sleep. Being in this semi-conscious state while sleeping has likely been a contributing factor to the survival of our species.

The analogy doesn't hold because, unlike cars, our bodies are not physically created; rather, they grow at a cellular level. It is not analogous to the manufacture of a car in any way, shape, or form. Cars are made from cold, unliving metal that is stamped out and welded together then painted, with people actively and consciously adding the necessary components. The only conscious, intelligent part that goes into us is when our parents choose to mate with each other, based on characteristics each finds desirable in the other. We don't have engineers that design improved humans; rather, our genetic code mutates randomly and infrequently. A mutation that is detrimental probably won't get passed on to the next generation, while good ones probably will get passed on. We eat, we grow, we continue to live. We stop eating, we eventually die, and nothing can be done to get us living again. Stop "Feeding" a car, it will stop running, but it does not actually "Die," because it is already dead. Put fuel into it, it will run again, but it cannot grow or heal. In theory, a car can last forever, providing that someone keeps changing worn components...but it still does not live.

A better analogy is to compare cars to the clothes we wear. Slipping into one's car is somewhat like slipping into a jacket. Thus, the cars people drive become an extension of their personality and says something about them, much like the clothes they wear. A man who likes to wear a suit and tie to reflect his success-driven business-like personality might choose to drive a Lexus, while a woman who enjoys wearing flowery sundresses may opt for a new Volkswagen Beetle. A no-nonsense hard-working T-shirt and jeans guy may opt for a Chevrolet.

GGDub

My standard response to these sorts of things is
"You're fat and should be exercising"
Its worked like a charm twice now.

SingleSpeeDemon

I'm fat and exercising, so that wouldn't work for me.

jimmuter

I would put teenagers up on the list too. I've had very few bad experiences, but most have been with teenagers. Women are usually too busy on their phones to notice me.