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Old 10-05-06, 09:41 AM   #1
Ed Holland
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Cyclicular Vehicling

As a cyclicular vehicling (CV) advocate, I promote the use of techniques which aim to promote my use and right of use of the road as a driver. This is the only method by which one may be percieved to be a valid road user by others.

This post is offered as a working document and FAQ to define and provide information about what is and is not CV. Some examples of CV, and other aspects of driving technique include:

Taking the bike lane
DLLP
PEEK-A-BOO
Pros and cons of mirrors and their use
Effective signalling
Wrong way driving
Sidewalk driving

Debate please
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Old 10-05-06, 10:12 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ed Holland
As a cyclicular vehicling (CV) advocate, I promote the use of techniques which aim to promote my use and right of use of the road as a driver. This is the only method by which one may be percieved to be a valid road user by others.

This post is offered as a working document and FAQ to define and provide information about what is and is not CV. Some examples of CV, and other aspects of driving technique include:

Taking the bike lane
DLLP
PEEK-A-BOO
Pros and cons of mirrors and their use
Effective signalling
Wrong way driving
Sidewalk driving

Debate please
Do you wear a helmet? Do you come to a complete stop?

And stats. I want to see some stats. The more confusing the stats, the more I believe it.
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Old 10-05-06, 10:24 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by LittleBigMan
Do you wear a helmet? Do you come to a complete stop?

And stats. I want to see some stats. The more confusing the stats, the more I believe it.
Wearing a carbon fiber collander on your head with a can of WD-40 attached with LBS bought bungee cords is 100% effective in warding off bicyclists' injuries and accidents. There are zero recorded instances of any cyclist ever even getting so much as a scratched pinky while wearing this safety attire. How's that for a safety statistic to take to the bank?

Almost as good is riding the wrong way in the middle of the left lane of an Interstate at midnight during an eclipse of the moon. Another 100% safe activity since there are also no recorded instances of bicyclist injury under such conditions; ever. And the cyclists doesn't need to worry about rear lights, reflectors or conspicuousness, since it does not change the outcome - zero accidents. The proof is in the stats, eh?

Last edited by I-Like-To-Bike; 10-05-06 at 10:30 AM.
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Old 10-05-06, 10:26 AM   #4
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I promote the use of techniques which aim to promote my use and right of use of the road as a driver.
I think your list is wrong. These are the techniques:
  • SLP - Static lane positioning. Hold your lane. Don't yield to any bicyclists. Add Heavy-handed horn use to add extra oomph to your position.
  • DLLP - Dynamic Lateral Lane Positioning or the Psych-swerve technique. That's right--psych out those bikes by aiming right at 'em. Teach them to take up space on our roads by showing them they're going to be hit. Swerve out of the way at the last minute and laugh at them.
  • Anti-Peekaboo - Hold your lane and refuse to move over when bikes are in your way. Pretend you can't even see them. Never look them in the eye. Don't even turn your head in their direction. Brush past as close as possible. Leave them guessing. Was that on purpose or did they not see me?
  • Mirrors are for looking back at the cyclist to see how they reacted. Laugh at them if they look scared.
  • Signaling is only for other valid road users. Never signal when a bicyclist is around. Who cares about them.
  • Wrong way driving - see DLLP above.
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Old 10-05-06, 10:39 AM   #5
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Good stuff, keep it coming

Oh, I forgot :-

Sounding the horn to announce your presence and superiority.
Left hooking methods for beginners (or right hook, if your Brit, Aussie, Japanese...)
The cellphone and you - how to make the most of drive time.
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Old 10-05-06, 10:47 AM   #6
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Don't drive in the "Pedal Zone" or you'll get your doors scratched up.
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Old 10-05-06, 10:59 AM   #7
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Remember, you are driving a car and have the right of way over cyclists, who are nuts to be on the road, anyway. These cyclists remind me of squirrels, they get in your way, and might make you have a crash trying to avoid them.

They really should get better jobs so they can afford to drive cars like everyone else.
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Old 10-05-06, 11:19 AM   #8
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This is great!

What are the Ten Commandments of the Church of Cyclicular Vehicling? And I nominate Ed Holland as the Pope and Keeper of the Faith of the Church of Cyclicular Vehicling, anyone second my motion?
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Old 10-05-06, 11:30 AM   #9
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Always drive fast and overtake in the right most lane... which is usually empty anyway... or only has a couple slow things in it.
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Old 10-05-06, 11:31 AM   #10
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Speed limits... what speed limits. Go with the flow... if the flow is too slow, push it along. Power rules, man.
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Old 10-05-06, 11:33 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by San Rensho
This is great!

What are the Ten Commandments of the Church of Cyclicular Vehicling? And I nominate Ed Holland as the Pope and Keeper of the Faith of the Church of Cyclicular Vehicling, anyone second my motion?
I nominate Bubba from Alabama or Arkansas.
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Old 10-05-06, 11:59 AM   #12
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I thought Bubba lived in California.

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Old 10-05-06, 12:38 PM   #13
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I only drive my car on the sidewalk....the roads just don't feel safe.

I give pedestrians a little toot on the horn to let em know I'm coming, but a lot of them still look surprised when I drive by. And I drive pretty slow too, I never exceed 40 mph on the sidewalk.
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Old 10-05-06, 12:49 PM   #14
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I drive at night without my lights. No braking, 'cause those lights would give me away, too.

It should go without saying that I'm going against traffic. Ignorant oncoming idiots.
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Old 10-05-06, 12:51 PM   #15
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I don't have a problem driving in the door zone. If anyone opens their door, it'll just get ripped off.
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Old 10-05-06, 01:56 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike
Wearing a carbon fiber collander on your head with a can of WD-40 attached with LBS bought bungee cords is 100% effective in warding off bicyclists' injuries and accidents. There are zero recorded instances of any cyclist ever even getting so much as a scratched pinky while wearing this safety attire. How's that for a safety statistic to take to the bank?

Almost as good is riding the wrong way in the middle of the left lane of an Interstate at midnight during an eclipse of the moon. Another 100% safe activity since there are also no recorded instances of bicyclist injury under such conditions; ever. And the cyclists doesn't need to worry about rear lights, reflectors or conspicuousness, since it does not change the outcome - zero accidents. The proof is in the stats, eh?
Who cares? This is about driving a car anyways. DOWN WITH THOSE SLOW POKES! (and that includes speed limit anals who cannot get out of my way!!! )
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Old 10-05-06, 02:04 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ed Holland
As a cyclicular vehicling (CV) advocate, I promote the use of techniques which aim to promote my use and right of use of the road as a driver. This is the only method by which one may be percieved to be a valid road user by others.
Never describe riding a bike as "riding a bike". In the Cyclicular Vehicling-Vehicular Cycling Continuum bicyclists "drive" a bicycle, therefore are by Newspeak definition indistinguishable from other valid road users. Case closed. What could be simpler for CV/VC advocates?
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Old 10-05-06, 02:06 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sgtsmile
Who cares? This is about driving a car anyways. DOWN WITH THOSE SLOW POKES! (and that includes speed limit anals who cannot get out of my way!!! )
You don't understand at all; drivers are drivers, vehicles are vehicles. What's the difference? Eh?
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Old 10-05-06, 02:27 PM   #19
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What's Cyclicular and what's Vehicling? My searches proved fruitless...

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Vehicling

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cyclicular
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Old 10-05-06, 02:44 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by aadhils
What's Cyclicular and what's Vehicling? My searches proved fruitless...

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Vehicling

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cyclicular
We have to create an entry in Wikipedia for Cyclicular Vehicling!
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Old 10-05-06, 02:47 PM   #21
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I guess I'm a little surprised that "Head Helmet" hasn't weighed in here.
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Old 10-05-06, 02:53 PM   #22
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I guess I'm a little surprised that "Head Helmet" hasn't weighed in here.
Want me to weigh in? This is an idiotic thread that irresponsibly pokes fun at what is probably the only realistic, practical and effective way to reduce the number of cyclist lives lost to bike-car crashes: changing cyclist behavior.
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Old 10-05-06, 03:10 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by LittleBigMan
I thought Bubba lived in California.


I thought he lived in Harlem.
Whoops... that's just his office...
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Old 10-05-06, 03:19 PM   #24
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You can easily do Cyclical Vehicling with a Smart Car, which is no bigger than a riding law mower.
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Old 10-05-06, 03:19 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ed Holland
The cellphone and you - how to make the most of drive time.
Holy crap that's funny.

A co-worker advised her 16 year old new driver daughter yesterday the following:

"Don't change the radio stations while you're on the phone."

The wide variety of ways in which this frightens me are almost inexpressible -- especially given that these people live a few miles from me and I bike-commute to work. I have a new technique to avoid her car -- it's called "Stay the f^c< away from Kia Rios".
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