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  1. #1
    mousse de chocolat Moose's Avatar
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    OK I'm hip to the helmet and gloves but I won't shave my legs!

    I've heard that some cyclists shave their legs, not for aerodynamics, but because hairy legs could exacerbate road rash injuries. Is this true? Anyone have first hand experience of this?
    I feel more like I do now than when I first got here.

  2. #2
    Cyclist and village idiot ridealot's Avatar
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    Got to agree with Ba-Dg-Er on this one. Plus my wife likes it now too!:blush:

  3. #3
    Member Stumon's Avatar
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    CAUTION!!!

    Don't shave your legs! Really. You're asking for trouble!

    I have to warn all of you about one seldom talked about danger of shaving your legs...

    In the early 1980s, I was in my mid twenties, buff & toned, and a fast enough cyclist to stand a chance in local races. Naturally, to gain acceptance from the Bike Powers That Be, (or Were) I made sure that my legs were as smooth as those of the girls at the Cheetah III.

    Trouble is, I got to really liking the ritual... you know, buying women's skin-care products, sinking into a hot bath and shaving, the cremes and lotions... I began to shave my armpits, just for the heck of it. I kept my facial stubble all-but-invisible.

    One day, I came across a stash of makeup leftover from an ex-girlfriend who had halfway moved in. A little eyeliner to bring out my eyes, just a tiny bit of lip gloss for the Bardot look...

    Somebody, somewhere, should be saying "uh oh..."

    Before too long, I was wearing silk panties under my Nashbar eight-panel shorts, and I occasionally ordered plus sizes from the women's clothing section of the bike catalogs.

    Since I had an extremely masculine hairline... as in: already balding at age 24... I waited until Halloween and bought a really nice "Cher" wig from the Sally Beauty Supply Company. Nobody though it was weird... they just figured that I had a costume party to go to.

    The ruse was complete. By 1983 I was a full fledged transvestite biker. I'd go on mixed rides sponsored by LBSs in full bikerette drag, and I answered to "Lydia." The guys would all hit on me, the girls looked at me as if I was from some other planet.

    It gets worse. I'd dress out in transvestite biker casual clothes and wander into bike shops. Bike wrenches, known for their lack of respect from the opposite sex, would fall all over this muscular young lady who came it to check out this years' machines. None of the guys ever suspected... James, you know who you are!

    I began thinking... "Hey, I'm short and thinly built... I'll bet I could pass as a 'she' in a bike race. Hmmmm, I could compete as a woman, and smoke the real ones. This was probably the only way I was ever gonna win a race.

    I entered, I competed, I won. And won. And won. By 1987, I had a rep as a seriously fast and powerful biker, who just might be a ****... nobody knew for sure. Then one day on a hilly stage of a race in the Blue Ridge, it happenned... I crashed. Bad. CPR on the scene, life support in the ambulance, multiple surgeries at the hospital.

    And every cyclist in four states found out that I was a man. Reputation: torpedoed & sunk. Race career: way beyond over.
    Legal problems became serious... It seems that misrepresentation of gender for financial gain is a federal crime.

    It took the intervention of the Federal Witness Protection Program (God bless those guys!) and my agreement to turn state's evidence on a huge transvestite & transsexual sports racket... to get me clear of all this trouble. I changed my name, grew a beard, let my leg, chest, back, and 'pit hair grow out... and kept a very low profile.

    For years, I didn't dare ride a bike, but I gradually grew brave enough to sneak out at dawn or dusk. Today, I ride dilletante-style comfort bikes, with toe clip pedals and rear parcel racks. I dress macho, too... black & white vans, baggy shorts, and tank tops that show off all that body hair. I make sure that everyone sees that I'm bald.

    I ride in the shadows, on the fringe of society, careful not to draw any attention to who I was or what I did. "Lydia" is long gone, and I am nothing without her.

    ALL BECAUSE I USED TO SHAVE MY LEGS!!!

  4. #4
    Just Follow Your Feet! AlphaGeek's Avatar
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    Stumon,

    What have you been smokin???
    Recumbents rock!

  5. #5
    Member Stumon's Avatar
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    This happens whenever I get near a computer early in the morning, after half a pot of stand-a-spoon-in-it coffee. My mind takes a concept and runs with it, I hold on for dear life.

    You should see my business-related correspondance.

  6. #6
    It's only a hill. Weasel's Avatar
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    My bead on life has just dissolved.

  7. #7
    Carfree since '82. Grrr! JonR's Avatar
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    Stumon, I seem vaguely to remember a 60 Minutes story on your adventure, the Witness Protection angle and all. Undercover reporting in part of it, with Mike Wallace posing as a champion racer...
    On leave of absence as of March 13, 2002. Contact by email.

  8. #8
    0^0 fubar5's Avatar
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    Stumon, is your story a joke? or for real?
    Booyah!!

  9. #9
    Member Stumon's Avatar
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    fubar,

    I confess. I suffer F.O.S. syndrome. Sometimes the pressure gets so great that I have to vent it here on this forum.

    In truth, I did shave my legs once to psyche out other racers, but my then-girlfriend threatened to stop shaving hers... so I didn't do that again.

    I wear mens' clothing, have an abundance of body hair, and look as ridiculous in a dress as Al Pacino might. Jay Davidson I am not.

    "Lydia" was an alternate screen name that I used for a while on AoL. I used her to mess with my friends, back in the days before every AoL user got hundreds of unsolicited erotic e-mailings.

    <<< Winky here should cue everybody that I was, once more, FOS.

    PS... Even silk panties under bike shorts will give you some nasty saddle sores.
    Last edited by Stumon; 07-20-01 at 01:22 PM.

  10. #10
    Senior Member mike's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Stumon
    I was a full fledged transvestite biker.
    Now THAT is movie material. "I Was a Transvestite Biker"

    Shunned by his parents
    Worshipped by the biker world
    Misunderstood by those he loved


    I Was a Transvestite Biker

    Coming to theatres this Christmas.
    Mike

  11. #11
    riding a Pinarello Prince orguasch's Avatar
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    Stumon,
    Its a free country and theres nothing wrong with being a transvestites biker, you can be whatever you want in this country.....:dance: :dance: :dance:
    "Racso", the well oiled machine;)

  12. #12
    Senior Member technogirl's Avatar
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    <sniff>... Stumon, that story just brought tears to my eyes...next time I shave my legs, I'll think of you...

    Next time, try wearing a combo Lycra & Nylon instead of Silk! hehe

    Oh, yeah, please continue to drink the ol' "lizard spit".

    tg

    P.S. Hmm...come to think of it, I think I lost one of my boyfriends to a girl named "Lydia". Mentioned something about the smoothest legs and a deep voice...nah...
    -------------------------------------
    "Hard work often pays off after time, but craziness pays off now."
    -------------------------------------

  13. #13
    Little Debbie Fiend Club KevinG's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Ba-Dg-Er


    Imagine getting hit by a car and dragging your knee and elbow/arm for about 10 feet on asphalt. Now imagine how much easier it is to clean, put ointment on, and place and remove bandages from an area with no hair. The above situation is why I know shave my arms and my legs. It works, and it's alot better then dealing with hair.
    Everytime I drag my knee and elbow/arm for about 10 feet on asphalt, the asphalt tends to remove most of the hair in that area.
    NADS #138
    Braaaaaaaaap!
    Go Medium Or Go HOME!!!!!
    Bob Roll:
    "Toour DAAAY Frantz!"

  14. #14
    mousse de chocolat Moose's Avatar
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    Hillarious story Stumon, keep drinkin' that thick joe and posting. I want to know what brand and measure of grinds you use so I too can post under the influence!
    I feel more like I do now than when I first got here.

  15. #15
    Senior Member HuffyMan's Avatar
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    Stumon,
    Excellent post! My humor tends to run toward the BLACK, glad to see someone else with similar tendencies. I can now feel better about size 13 pumps from my "experimental" days.

  16. #16
    Carfree since '82. Grrr! JonR's Avatar
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    Originally posted by HuffyMan
    My humor tends to run toward the BLACK...
    I guess you enjoy keeping up with the Tour de France, then!
    On leave of absence as of March 13, 2002. Contact by email.

  17. #17
    Life is good RonH's Avatar
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    Stumon,

    That was a first rate story. I read it Friday night and just read it again. It is just as funny the second time. Maybe you should write for Harlequin (sp??) Romance novels to support your bicycling habit.

    On a related subject, yesterday I drove my wife to a baby shower for the daughter of one of her co-workers. The town is about 2 hours from home. Naturally the men didn't want to sit around with the women and look at baby things so we all went outside. I didn't want to sit around and talk about golf, fishing, hunting, or Georgia football, so I changed clothes and took off on my bike for an hour or so.
    When I got back my wife asked everyone (men and women) if they noticed my shaved legs. All the women made comments about the muscles and some were a little embarrassing. The mother-to-be felt my legs and said she had more hair on her legs than I had on mine. :blush:
    One of the men felt my legs and told my wife it was a good thing she was there, cause if she wasn't he'd hit on me big time.
    I hope he was teasing. :confused:

    Stumon, maybe you can give me a few ideas for the next baby shower.

    Ron
    My bikes --> 2001 Litespeed Tuscany---2011 Felt Z4

    Life is like a 10-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. ~ Charles Schultz

  18. #18
    0^0 fubar5's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Stumon

    In truth, I did shave my legs once to psyche out other racers, but my then-girlfriend threatened to stop shaving hers... so I didn't do that again.

    Thats not good
    Booyah!!

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