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  1. #1
    Theodore Roosevelt's idol TheKillerPenguin's Avatar
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    I beat up a cager today.

    So there I was, riding against traffic as usual, riding vehicularly, when some moron's mirror clips my shoulder as I'm going around a blind corner. The guy had the nerve to stop and yell at me for riding against traffic so rather than yell back I calmly explained to him how I was just following the rules and he should be more careful when he drives. At this point he called me a f'in moron and told me I was going to get myself killed. Whatever buddy, I was riding how the law tells me to ride

    This was like the third incident this year, and I wasn't having it anymore. When he called me a moron, somethng just clicked inside of me. I pulled off my frame pump and bashed him in the face until he fell over, and when he was on the ground I peed on him. I also took all the money out of his wallet for pain and suffering. That'll teach that dirty cager to pay attention when he drives!
    Masochism is a training adaptation.

  2. #2
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    That'll teach that dirty cager to pay attention when he drives!
    I see no reason to bring up someone's personal hygine practices. Whether a person chooses to bathe or not is their business.

  3. #3
    BF's Level 12 Wizard SingingSabre's Avatar
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    You were riding against traffic?

    Oh, man. You're in the **** now...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bklyn
    Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheKillerPenguin
    So there I was, riding against traffic as usual, riding vehicularly, when some moron's mirror clips my shoulder as I'm going around a blind corner. The guy had the nerve to stop and yell at me for riding against traffic so rather than yell back I calmly explained to him how I was just following the rules and he should be more careful when he drives. At this point he called me a f'in moron and told me I was going to get myself killed. Whatever buddy, I was riding how the law tells me to ride

    This was like the third incident this year, and I wasn't having it anymore. When he called me a moron, somethng just clicked inside of me. I pulled off my frame pump and bashed him in the face until he fell over, and when he was on the ground I peed on him. I also took all the money out of his wallet for pain and suffering. That'll teach that dirty cager to pay attention when he drives!
    Excellent. Now you've posted something admissable in court if you're ever involved in an accident where the other party's attorney needs to find something incriminating about your state of mind at the time of the accident or assault/battery.

  5. #5
    CRIKEY!!!!!!! Cyclaholic's Avatar
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    Ask R600DuraAce for a few pointers and try again
    There are 10 types of people in the world - the ones that can count in base 2, the ones that can't count in base 2, and the ones that didn't expect this to be in base 3.

  6. #6
    N_C
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    Ok this has got to be satire. Nice.

  7. #7
    The Other White Meat BroMax's Avatar
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    Of course the driver was an insensitive boob and got what he deserved. I hope he was unconscious when you peed on him because some people like to get peed on. You didn't damage your tire pump I hope.

    PS Unkchunk is right about the "dirty" remark. It was out of place, even if it was made during a time of stress, just like Mel Gibson and that other guy.
    Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal.

    -Martin Luther King, Jr.

  8. #8
    Theodore Roosevelt's idol TheKillerPenguin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lurker1999
    Excellent. Now you've posted something admissable in court if you're ever involved in an accident where the other party's attorney needs to find something incriminating about your state of mind at the time of the accident or assault/battery.
    yeah yeah yeah, whatever. The cager was clearly in the wrong.

    Isn't anybody going to ask me how much money I scored off the guy?
    Masochism is a training adaptation.

  9. #9
    Sweetened with Splenda
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclaholic
    Ask R600DuraAce for a few pointers and try again

    Oh, I don't know... he got a couple - that's not SO bad.
    Falling down is not exercising.

  10. #10
    Banned Bikepacker67's Avatar
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    Hey, it's Penguin Troll...

    how ya been?

  11. #11
    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclaholic
    Ask R600DuraAce for a few pointers and try again
    I bet that evil tub o'lard "cager" was coming from Walmart and going to McDonald's for super sized deep fried cholesterol burger, while calling into Radio Rush L. on a cell phone and was driving a big butt SUV. Just like all the other evil "cagers". Thank goodness a Real Cyclist was around to dispense a mild version of street justice. But you shoulda been carrying some duct tape, bungee cords, and matches so he could have been strung up, dangled and burned like all the other cager vermin, eh?

  12. #12
    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by N_C
    Ok this has got to be satire. Nice.
    Ya think?

  13. #13
    Theodore Roosevelt's idol TheKillerPenguin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike
    I bet that evil tub o'lard "cager" was coming from Walmart and going to McDonald's for super sized deep fried cholesterol burger, while calling into Radio Rush L. on a cell phone and was driving a big butt SUV. Just like all the other evil "cagers". Thank goodness a Real Cyclist was around to dispense a mild version of street justice. But you shoulda been carrying some duct tape, bungee cords, and matches so he could have been strung up, dangled and burned like all the other cager vermin, eh?
    well, i figured when i said cager it implied what you said. Duh, people.
    Masochism is a training adaptation.

  14. #14
    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheKillerPenguin
    well, i figured when i said cager it implied what you said. Duh, people.
    Yeah, you seen one "cager" you seen 'em all. No good MF'ers should all be...; eh?

  15. #15
    Senior Member Wogster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheKillerPenguin
    So there I was, riding against traffic as usual, riding vehicularly, when some moron's mirror clips my shoulder as I'm going around a blind corner. The guy had the nerve to stop and yell at me for riding against traffic so rather than yell back I calmly explained to him how I was just following the rules and he should be more careful when he drives. At this point he called me a f'in moron and told me I was going to get myself killed. Whatever buddy, I was riding how the law tells me to ride

    This was like the third incident this year, and I wasn't having it anymore. When he called me a moron, somethng just clicked inside of me. I pulled off my frame pump and bashed him in the face until he fell over, and when he was on the ground I peed on him. I also took all the money out of his wallet for pain and suffering. That'll teach that dirty cager to pay attention when he drives!
    The law most places states you ride with traffic, not against traffic, as you state above, I even underlined it for you. The driver was right, you are going to get yourself killed, and for telling you so, you beat and defiled him, he was right you are a moron, and an idiot as well.

  16. #16
    totally louche Bekologist's Avatar
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    i think the trolling penguins' first sentence gives it all away.

    Go play in traffic, little man.
    "Evidence, anecdote and methodology all support planning for roadway bike traffic."

  17. #17
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    I'm hoping you got his address from his wallet and are now subtly playing mind games with his entire family. If not this whole thing just sounds like the beginning of a bad Clive Owen movie.

  18. #18
    Almost Immortal The Rob's Avatar
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    Uh-Oh...

    Um, Wogsterca...it really was a joke post, man. Back away from the keyboard, shake it out, deep breaths.

    "Ignorance begets confidence more frequently than does knowledge." -Charles Darwin


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  19. #19
    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wogsterca
    The law most places states you ride with traffic, not against traffic, as you state above, I even underlined it for you. The driver was right, you are going to get yourself killed, and for telling you so, you beat and defiled him, he was right you are a moron, and an idiot as well.
    Law? Law? We don't need no stinkin' law! Open season on all "cagers" at all times; yeah! That's why God invented the U-Lock and bike pump.

  20. #20
    Senior Member slagjumper's Avatar
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    Something like that happened to me last year, only I was blowing through a stop sign. When the filthy cager skidded abruptly. The skid was so loud that I could hear it through my custom molded, silicone-ear-canal head phones! Then the guy had the audacity to call me a sub-idiot and said, something like, "..almost evolution in process", then he got out of his car. That was his mistake. While he turned to tell off his wife who just told him, "Henry don't make a fuss", I seized the opportunity to whack at the old guy’s head with my pump. His head was so hard that the pump shattered into several pieces! I guess that I should have filed a police report for the damage to my pump. I tell you what--hey don't make pumps like they used to. Next time I'll have a better pump.
    Last edited by slagjumper; 12-09-06 at 11:49 AM.

  21. #21
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    I have a modest proposal, lets just eat all the cagers, that will solve the problem.
    Il faut de l'audace, encore de l'audace, toujours de l'audace

    1980 3Rensho-- 1975 Raleigh Sprite 3spd
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  22. #22
    N_C
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wogsterca
    The law most places states you ride with traffic, not against traffic, as you state above, I even underlined it for you. The driver was right, you are going to get yourself killed, and for telling you so, you beat and defiled him, he was right you are a moron, and an idiot as well.
    And here I thought I had a problem understanding what is satire & what isn't. Note I emphasized the word satire.

  23. #23
    N_C
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    This thread is useless with out pics.

  24. #24
    Banned Bikepacker67's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by N_C
    This thread is useless with out pics.

  25. #25
    Dog is my co-pilot 2manybikes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chipcom
    There is only one thing to do when da killer penguin comes a trollin...

    Excellent!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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