LittleBigMan

It has occurred to me, after long debate on these forums and long, sleepless nights spent ruminating, that Bike Lanes Are Evil. I arrived at that conclusion when I noticed a dead Possum one morning.

The Possum had met it's fate in much the same way as other Possums on the road. Feeling a great deal of admiration for it's bravery, and also identifying with it quite a bit (having a certain kinship, wondering if my fate would perhaps be similar and therefore I might cosmically avert such a tragedy through my empathy,) it occurred to me that the Possum had met it's untimely demise while in the supposed safety of the Evil Bike Lane. There you have it. The Evidence is clear.

Was the Possum a Victim of Inadvertant Drift? Drunk Driving? Text Messaging?

Should the Possum have worn a Reflective Vest? Headlight? Rear Blinkie? Indeed, a 12V Xenon Stobe light could have averted this Awful Catastrophe. I postulated how Effective Cycling courses might have helped prevent this. The Possum's deficiency in this area was not lost on me. Indeed, as much as I had felt kinship with the Possum, I could not approve of it's Incompetance.

Then I understood my error. The Possum was technically a Pedestrian and should have been on the sidewalk. The motorist should not be blamed. In fact, sympathy for the motorist was in order. Surely he had suffered enough trauma by killing the Possum!

But wait! He left the scene! That makes the motorist an Evil Gashuffer. The bike lane was an Innocent Bike Lane.
So much for the effects of excess circulation on the brain...

N_C

rando

I like possums. Pogo was a possum.

sbhikes

First of all, that possum was hit while he was powerweaving in the main traffic lane. He stumbled to the bike lane to seek refuge in his final moments. As he lay dying he at least didn't have to suffer the indignities of being run over again and again.

By the way, I saw there was a dead possum on the side of a non-bike laned road just the other day. Even WOLs can't help them survive. And yet, he still sought refuge in his dying moments by positioning himself as far to the right as practicable.

rando

good one, Diane.
"We have met the enemy and he is us"-- Pogo

LittleBigMan

Hmmm...

JohnBrooking

It's the city government's fault for not incorporating a possum bypass into its facilities planning. When will they ever learn?

geofitz13

In Amherst, MA, there are salamander crossings. Actually, culverts installed under the road, specifically to assist in the migration of salamanders.
Indeed, why not possums? This cannot stand! We must fight for possum rights!!

webist

I've seen Opossums pull that dead trick before. Don't be fooled.

CommuterRun

One of my routes to work has a dead possum on the west-bound paved road shoulder. A little further along, off the shoulder in the grass, there is a dead raccoon. Awhile back there was a dead otter on the east-bound paved road shoulder of this route.

On another leg of the route which is two-lane, NOL, with no paved shoulder there is currently a dead otter.

Another route route to work, another two-lane, NOL, with no paved shoulder, there was a dead deer last week. I haven't been that way this week, but suspect she is still there.

The Critter Pedestrian Safety Class should emphasize to the critters that they only have reflectors on the front.

I have found roadkill to usually be too busted up and bloodshot to be palatable. I don't even bother to pick it up anymore.

Bekologist

mandatory possum safety classes is the only anwser. The possums need to learn the possum powerweave.

donnamb 

My cat kinda looks like an obese 'possum.

wethepeople

I think the only solution is to spraypaint all possums saftey orange.

twahl

Possums should be extinct because they are simply too stupid to survive. I once saw one watch most of a train go by before he decided that he'd waited long enough. He didn't survive the crossing. Since then, I've made it my mission to kill as many as possible, wherever they may roam.

Including bike lanes.

I-Like-To-Bike

Nonsense. Helmets are the Answer!

wahoonc

All Y'all aren't from the south or you would know that possums are born dead in the middle of the road

Aaron