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Old 04-30-09, 10:05 AM   #1
High Roller
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Label That Cyclist

Let’s continue our efforts toward divisiveness here on A&S with the latest episode of “Label That Cyclist”. Please feel free to add quotes and any labels I may have overlooked.

Who am I?

* Vehicular Cyclist
* Pedestrian on Wheels
* Scofflaw Cyclist
* Safety Nanny Cyclist

“Every evening before I go to sleep, I kneel at the side of my bed and repeat the following mantra exactly seven times: ‘Cyclists fare best when they act and are treated as drivers of vehicles’.”

“I fare best when I stay the heck out of the way.”

“During my morning commute, I like to sing ‘Same Roads – Same Rights – Same Rules’ to the tune of ‘Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s off to work I go’.”

“Same Roads – Same Rights – and scr@w the rules, because it’s all about me, me, me, and I’m morally superior and motorists are big, bad meanies who are trying to kill me.”

“People with important places to go should not have to dodge or be delayed and inconvenienced by me while I prance about on my two-wheeled toy.”

“I prefer to ride integrated with other traffic on sharable roads, sharable width lanes, and bikeable shoulders.”

“I like to ride separated from other traffic, preferably on substandard, congested, slow, and dangerous bike lanes, gutters, sidewalks, paths, and whatever other bike ghettos I can find.”

“I go somewhere to ride.”

“I ride to go somewhere.”

“We need more education, more regulation, more law enforcement, (and more helmets) to make sure everyone is riding safely and properly.”

“Laws, right-of-way, and predictability are for suckers. Razor-sharp alertness and extreme bike handling prowess are all I need to survive. Of course, this works best if the rest of you follow the rules.”

“I prefer to ride like a grown-up.”

“I believe in the magical powers of white paint to protect me from the evil cagers.”

“The only law I follow is the law of the jungle: the strong survive and the weak get eaten.”

“I’m not afraid of traffic, I am traffic.”

“The laws of physics trump the laws of the state every time.”

“My legitimacy as a road user is threatened by all the meek, immature, and criminally insane cyclists out there.”

“A collision requires that two people make a mistake – all I have to do is make sure I’m not one of them.”

“Where I live, there’s a fantastic network of bike paths that will take me anywhere I need to go – they’re called roads.”

“I believe the acronym ‘VC’ derives from a Latin phrase which, roughly translated, means ‘hood ornament’.”

“I love to watch the horrified expressions on pedestrians’ and motorists’ faces as I skillfully avoid them by mere inches when I run through red lights.”
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Old 04-30-09, 10:50 AM   #2
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"Is 10 percent bicycle modal share possible in america?"

"I prefer to ride integrated with other traffic on roads, sharable width lanes preferably with well engineered bike infrastructure along main routes forming viable bicycling networks across communities or without, and bikeable shoulders.”

Last edited by Bekologist; 04-30-09 at 11:10 AM.
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Old 04-30-09, 11:10 AM   #3
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Good ones.

My point is that for a cycling advocacy forum, we seem to invest a lot more time and energy on picking apart our differences and fomenting internal conflict than on achieving a strong consensus and realistic plans that will move cycling forward as a viable and sensible transportation alternative.
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Old 04-30-09, 11:23 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by High Roller View Post
Good ones.

My point is that for a cycling advocacy forum, we seem to invest a lot more time and energy on picking apart our differences and fomenting internal conflict than on achieving a strong consensus and realistic plans that will move cycling forward as a viable and sensible transportation alternative.
It's okay for people to disagree with each other. As cyclists, we are not a like-minded mass, which is why I think attempt to build such a consensus are misguided. You're never going to get everyone to agree on the best way to "move cycling forward". I actually chafe at the idea that there's some kind of "movement" that I should belong to.
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Old 04-30-09, 11:29 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by High Roller View Post
Good ones.

My point is that for a cycling advocacy forum, we seem to invest a lot more time and energy on picking apart our differences and fomenting internal conflict than on achieving a strong consensus and realistic plans that will move cycling forward as a viable and sensible transportation alternative.
You are making an assumption that all so-called advocates are interested in moving cycling forward as a viable and sensible transportation alternative. Some are far more interested in a consensus of 100% agreement (i.e. no other opinion/method is will be tolerated) that their one chosen method is the only effective way to cycle and the only thing that should be advocated is education and training in the chosen method. And those cyclists who disagree or are not interested in the chosen method are not worthy of ANY advocacy.
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Old 04-30-09, 12:26 PM   #6
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*Bike Snob

"I fare best because I am best."

I like your new avatar ILTB.
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Old 04-30-09, 12:30 PM   #7
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*Bike Snob

"I fare best because I am best."

I like your new avatar ILTB.
Thanks.
The BF server ate my Kliban Kitty avatar.
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Old 04-30-09, 04:30 PM   #8
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"can't we all just get along"
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Old 04-30-09, 09:58 PM   #9
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Best A&S post ever.

-Kurt
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Old 05-02-09, 07:35 PM   #10
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One of my catch phrases: Be a considerate cyclists when drivers are considerate and be an assertive cyclists when drivers are assertive.
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Old 05-02-09, 07:55 PM   #11
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...we seem to invest a lot more time and energy on picking apart our differences and fomenting internal conflict...
This, oddly enough, describes your opening post quite well--particularly since it advocated one form of cycling while caricaturing others. :O)
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Old 05-03-09, 08:29 AM   #12
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Call me a Safety Nut, call me a Safety Nazi, but don't call me a Safety Nanny.
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Old 05-03-09, 06:20 PM   #13
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Call me a Safety Nut, call me a Safety Nazi, but don't call me a Safety Nanny.
All right. We will call you a "safety ninny" from now on.

-Kurt
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Old 05-04-09, 08:23 AM   #14
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I was trying to be even-handed with the caricatures. Sorry if you think I failed.

I have to admit that I find the antics in A&S immensely entertaining at times. There must be some primitive impulse in the human soul that makes us want to run for the popcorn whenever somebody throws raw meat into a pit full of ravenous dogs. But we have a lot more in common and a lot more at stake than we often seem to realize.
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Old 05-04-09, 08:33 AM   #15
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I was trying to be even-handed with the caricatures. Sorry if you think I failed.

I have to admit that I find the antics in A&S immensely entertaining at times. There must be some primitive impulse in the human soul that makes us want to run for the popcorn whenever somebody throws raw meat into a pit full of ravenous dogs. But we have a lot more in common and a lot more at stake than we often seem to realize.
Sorry, but you really haven't been around long enough to know more than just the tip of the iceberg of A&S or BF as a whole...unless you are a sock puppet of a banned user...so for now I'll label YOU as a sock puppet.
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Old 05-04-09, 08:45 AM   #16
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sock puppet!
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Old 05-04-09, 09:56 AM   #17
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What is a sock puppet? Should I feel insulted?
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Old 05-04-09, 10:29 AM   #18
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I guess that would depend on who's sock puppet you are.
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
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Old 05-04-09, 10:57 AM   #19
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Why not simply say:

I'm a Yehuda

or

I'm a Joe.
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Old 05-04-09, 11:15 AM   #20
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"motor vehicles are opportunities"

*trial bike cyclist
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Old 05-04-09, 11:31 AM   #21
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It must be a term of endearment, used to welcome new members to the fold.
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Old 05-04-09, 11:37 AM   #22
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New members usually don't try to pass themselves off as old hands...as your OP seemed to.
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey
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Old 05-04-09, 03:26 PM   #23
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Why not simply say:

I'm a Yehuda

or

I'm a Joe.
I like that.

-Kurt
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Old 05-04-09, 03:29 PM   #24
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The BF server ate my Kliban Kitty avatar.
What was up with that? My high-wheeler-on-stairs guy shared the same fate.
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Old 05-05-09, 07:29 AM   #25
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New members usually don't try to pass themselves off as old hands...as your OP seemed to.
Always hit the ground running. You know that, marine.
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