Noobtastic

I got one of my best friends into cycling a while ago, to the extent that he bought a nice new road bike and began commuting to school immediately. For his first few rides I tried my best to show him proper ways to ride on the road like where to take the lane, how to deal with intersections and how to be assertive where drivers are looking to take advantage of you. I explained to him why he should plan peaceful routes rather than riding the sidewalk on busy roads and why riding with his headphones on is a stupid idea ("But riding with my tunes gets me soo pumped dude"). But he still rode like an asshat and eventually got hit by a car, because he was riding haphazardly on a main road at night with no lights. He was thrown across the road and because he was wearing no helmet suffered a scalp torn open and was concussed for at least two weeks; luckily, he suffered no further injuries.

Now he's back on the saddle; he's actually still waiting for a new fork for his bike so I lent him my rockhopper for the meantime and gave him one of my helmets. So far he has not changed the way he rides, he does not listen for cars coming up behind him or even look for cars before changing lanes, he rarely regards stop signs and the helmet that I gave him has been worn only once. The biggest issue I have with riding with him now is that he has not even considered getting a set of lights since his accident, even though we generally only have time to ride at night. I get uneasy because I usually can't see him in the dark when we ride so I make him ride in front of my magicshine headlight. Now I've decided that I simply won't ride at night with him till he invests in a lightset but he's hardheaded and probably will not consider it seriously. The responses I've gotten when warning him about the consequences of cycling like this is " Don't talk like that man, it's bad karma". I've also discussed this with other friends who just respond with talk about how Keagan is who he is and how he never learns. I'm even more worried because he's planning a 150 mile trip as soon as his bike is back in order and I bet he'll buy some cheap walmart lights for the highways if he considers buying a set at all.

I'm happy that I finally got someone to see the fun in cycling, but I don't want my best friend to die. After his accident he actually seemed to have had an eye opening experience (mentioning many times how he should be dead) but it seems like all that talk was to make people feel bad for him. How can I really open his eyes to let him know that he's acting like an idiot?

Edit: I'm really tempted to somehow get him a citation for riding ninja but that seems like a terrible thing to do, especially since he's struggling to pay off the citation for his earlier accident.

Chief

Ygbsm!

caloso

I wouldn't waste my time trying to convince him that he's acting like an idiot. But I would get my bike back. You could say "Give me back my bike." [optional: "You're likely to destroy it because you ride like an idiot.]

oban_kobi

Hm, I have a friend a bit like that. He's not quiet so bad, but he's very spacey, and the most unassertive yet overconfident person I've met. I do my best to get him to ride better, occasionally yelling at him when he does something ridiculous, like try to beat lights when he obviously won't be able to make it. He's gotten better through repeatedly telling him what he was doing right, and what he was doing wrong. Just keep trying to get through to him, show him horrific pictures of crashes. But take your bike back! Let him wreck his own.

njkayaker

Don't ride with him (night or day).

gcottay

And let him know the reason for your decision. You do not want to be there when he is killed or maimed.

fordmanvt

Maybe a bit harsh, but this person does not sound like a friend at all.

thompsonpost

You loaned him a bike?

SBRDude

unfortunately, all you can do is give good advice, but you can't save people from themselves. if that were possible, the world would be a much different and better place.

CommuterRun

Tell him you want to take out a life insurance policy on him with you as the sole beneficiary.

electrik

lol - sadly this guy sounds like a sure thing.

Really though, say your bit, say it again then stop riding with them... what else is there todo - aside from trying to have him committed(not likely).

devin3294

i have a friend that is not as bad as your friend but still makes me nervous when he goes out on his bike. he is not a very good rider and he lacks skills that most should have when riding a bike yet goes out on the highways to ride his bike alongside it. ridiculous

AlmostTrick

Sign him up for a LAB road course and join him. Send him to the "Steet Smarts" website on safe cycling by John Allen, or give him a copy of "The Art of Cycling" by Robert Hurst. Any of these things has to help at least a little... or maybe a lot.

Like you, I'd have no problem giving a best friend a bike, and getting them a light. Heck, I've done that for coworkers. Pedal On!

wheel

You will follow all the laws and where a helmet or I won't lend you this bike.

You ride like a dumb ass, please as your friend protect yourself and follow the laws.

zonatandem

Loaning him your bike is like giving him a loaded gun to play with . . .

B. Carfree

My retirement funds could use a bit of a boost. Please send me his contact info. so I can take out a life insurance policy on him. I'll pay a 15% finder's fee to you and double it if you keep him on the bike.

All kidding aside, all you can do is give him the benefit of your wisdom. He is likely to eventually get it if you give him enough space to change his ways without feeling like he is following your orders. Be clever and good luck.

vol

Seems like your friend wants to test how tough his skull is?? I suggest you tell him about this forum, which is very educational.

Cyclaholic

Your friend is a dickhead. Go get your bike back so it doesn't get written off when he does.

zeppinger

Sabotage his bike. Disconnect his brake cables, loosen his headset, or cut a few of his spokes. Make him crash over and over again until he learns!

Noobtastic

Thanks for the input guys; I loaned him a bike because he simply needed a way to get around, I will be taking it back this week since I know that he does not care for it/watch it as well as he would his own and I don't want our friendship ruined by something petty like a damaged or stolen bicycle. He'll be done repairing his own bike soon anyway.
I went out on my bike alone tonight, meeting him at a central place rather than riding together, so I wasn't stressed out from daddying him around. I think I'll do this more often, but I hope it doesn't end up with him being hit again from ninja riding alone; the only thing I've taught him that really stuck is taking the lane, which he will do alone in pitch darkness. I'm not buying him any lights, and hopefully he's not waiting for me to do so (I bought a $15 lightset for another friend last week) because he should be thinking about how to prevent another accident from happening rather than riding around like he's in Utopia. Even in Utopia I'd think ninja cyclists would be viewed as asshats.

unterhausen

this is why concern trolls that come in here to report bad cyclist behavior get such a negative reaction. We can only control ourselves, there is no way to control the actions of others. Even in this case, where people are friends, it's really difficult to get any influence. I find that helping people come to an understanding by themselves is the best approach. Asking the right question can be effective where a million statements of fact will not.

Fasteryoufool

This is not, repeat NOT a friend of yours. This is an ******* that's taking advantage of you. Friends take BETTER care of their friends' things than they do of their own. When I drove, if I borrowed a friends' car, I drove carefully and defensively. If it was my own car, I drove like an asshat. I brought the friends' car back full of gas. Mine rarely had a full tank.

Seriously, get your bike back from this false friend, and don't go riding with him anymore. With friends like that, who needs enemas?

Captain Blight

I'm sorry to have to be the one who says this, but all prima faciae evidence points to your friend being an effin' moron. Are you sure he actually and in point of fact has two brain cells he can rub together?

All the advocacy in the world ain't gonna fix stupid.

CritEastwood

find better friends

zeppinger

Who needs enemas?